So, are they being paranoid? Or am I simply not careful enough with my safety?



I guess that title sounds a little odd for a blog talking about swinging and the whole lifestyle that surrounds it. Well, let me tell you why I chose that title and maybe you can decide for yourself whether or not it’s appropriate.

This Thanksgiving weekend (in Canada), I was approached by a woman on the swingers website that I am a member of, asking me if I would be interested in playing with her husband while she was away travelling. She’s a flight attendant and would be overseas for the next 8 months on assignment and wants someone for her husband.  All their swinging friends are couples so when she plays with the husband, he plays with the wife. When I say play, I actually mean have sex, in case you are wondering.

She doesn’t want him to have to go looking for various partners to have fun with but instead, would prefer for him to have someone stable. In the swinging world, that’s not so uncommon. Having a stable partner but still playing with others is nice. Oftentimes that stable partner is a spouse, but in my case, it’s my 2 guys that I have been playing with for 8 months now. It’s not my husband, because he could care less about sex most of the time.

When I spoke to my partners about all that was discussed with her via email, and subsequently the husband by text, my partners started to ask some pertinent questions. Such as, a) why is he willing drive almost 2 hours from home to play with me (according to another friend, it’s because I’m one in a million and I’m super hot, 😉 but I digress) or b) why would he ask me to delete all the messages off my phone that he had sent me. And so on and so forth. I spoke to each of my guys today about it separately for an hour. They each want me to have proof of who he is, where he lives, the times we meet, where we are meeting, his age, etc. You get the idea. All things that I did not ask of them when I agreed to meet them for coffee then subsequently have come to my home to play and nobody knew about it but them and I. And nothing happened. I was safe. Furthermore, Manny (the husband of lady that contacted me) is a paramedic and they think it’s possible that he takes that knowledge and creates some sort of cocktail of drugs and uses it on me to rape me or have his way with me.

So, are they being paranoid? Or am I simply not careful enough with my safety? That’s a really good question that I have been asking myself. I tend to be trusting of people and what they tell me. I take what they say at face value because I’m an honest person. I guess you can say that I am naive in thinking others are the same. Maybe I lucked in and got the best two guys on the site.

Now, I have to decide if I play with Manny or I tell him that I’m not interested because my partners are paranoid and worried for my safety. Incidentally, my husband had no issues about it until I told him what my partners had to say. Now he too is telling me to dump him.

I think the smart thing to do is to come right out and ask him all these questions and if he is reluctant to answer them, then I know my answer, right?

Update – It turns out my guys were right to be suspicious of him. This man was a posting pictures of a latino model pretending it was his wife. So, there was no wife at all. He was probably going to scam me sometime down the road. But because of my guys, he never got the chance.

2 thoughts on “Paranoia”

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