As a swinger, romance and lasting love is never the goal. Ultimately, what you are looking for is to find another couple to play with, preferably with your spouse. You either do a full swap or a soft swap, same room or different room or any combination thereof. In my case, because my spouse doesn’t participate in this lifestyle, I’m considered to be in an open marriage more than a swinger. The term swinger is primarily used for couples.
But regardless of the label that is given me, the guys that I play with are often times married. So, that doesn’t lend well to obtaining the type of emotional and physical intimacy that I require. For instance, I miss being romanced with candle lit dinners, dancing the night away, kissing, touching affectionately and caressing. It all just seems to fit for my personality. But, this lifestyle doesn’t normally provide that and it’s not meant to. That type of connection is supposed to be found at home amongst couples.
Don’t get me wrong, I love all the wild monkey sex too, but for me, all the romance and caressing would be nice to come before and after sex. It creates a lasting bond in my mind. Where a man and a woman can share in the intimacy of their lives by touching, talking, kissing, even before they remove their clothing. Luckily enough, there are those moments that both partners come together and it’s there. That connection you long for, although not entirely perfect, but perfect enough.
One of my favourite play dates with my partner during these past 9 months was a day we spent at the hotel. We went for breakfast together at a diner we both loved, then off to the hotel we went. We played for about 3 hours, having a wonderful time then decided to stop for lunch. I brought food for us from home and we ate in the hotel room. While eating and drinking a good bottle of wine, we went through the music on his playlist and talked about the songs that we both love. I learned about his favourite band growing up and he introduced me to a new album but particularly a beautiful song and to this day, it feel like it’s our song. That song in case you are wondering is “No Ordinary Love” by Dallas Green and Pink. Is that his way of telling me how much he cares for me? I’m not sure but I would like to think so. It’s simply a beautiful song and speaks to us both. Being together was so effortless. It really was romantic and enjoyable. I loved that day with him and he did too. That day will forever be ingrained in my mind.
I miss having those days with my husband. The days were we would spend all day in bed talking about whatever subject that was brought to mind. Although, this summer, we rented a cottage for the week and opened up like never before. It was simply wonderful to have that solitude together. No distractions from phone calls and very spotty wifi that we could only get down by the water so we really had to keep ourselves entertained. We talked a lot that week and in the evenings, we played cards. One afternoon during our walk, I took the opportunity to tell him about my feelings and everything that I was experiencing with my guys. It was an intimate conversation, but done in a light easy way. That was a really great day for us as a couple. We cemented our bond once again and it was simply beautiful.