A Lucky Woman

Last night was the first time I spent the night with one of my partners and it was all I dreamt it would be. First of all, morning sex! Wow, have I been missing out. It’s amazing. He’s amazing. My new artist partner Gary loves morning sex and can he perform. OMG!

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Nude on the beach

Spectacular! The only way to describe my day and night with my artist.

Last night was the first time I spent the night with one of my partners and it was all I dreamt it would be. First of all, morning sex! Wow, have I been missing out. It’s amazing. He’s amazing. My new artist partner Gary loves morning sex and can he perform. OMG! But, let’s back up a bit. I need to give you a bit of background on how it all lead to that.

On Thursday, my partner Tariq mentioned to me that his wife was going out of town at the end of the month for 4 days to a niece’s baby shower. He’s unable to go because he has no time off. So, because he would have the house to himself, he has asked if I would stay overnight with him. He wants to first go to the strip club, then the swing club then back to his place for the night. It surprised me quite a bit that he wanted me to go to his place because in the past he has always been paranoid that the neighbours might see me. But, I guess it’s because we will be arriving late at night, he’s not so worried about it.

When I read his message to my husband, my husband had no reaction. He basically nodded his head in agreement. As if to say, ya, alright, if you want. The reason I wasn’t too surprised was because he had told me in the past that I could stay with one of my partners if the opportunity arose. And he knows that if I get the chance to take off to Montreal with my partner Matt, we will be going for sure. So, he wasn’t too surprised my request from Tariq. That’s where I decided to open the door and ask if I could stay at Gary’s Saturday night. I had never done that in the past and I decided that with our son in NYC, it was as good a chance as any. Much to my surprise, he simply asked if I felt safe going there. Clearly I did, otherwise I wouldn’t raving about my night with him. 🙂

Saturday finally arrived. I knew I was going to visit my artist late in the afternoon. He had a couple of pieces of his art to deliver so it was decided beforehand that I would come at 5pm for dinner. That same morning, I spoke with my partner Matt by Skype. I had decided to tell him what Tariq had asked of me regarding staying overnight. I thought he would be excited for me. Finally getting a chance to bring one of them to the club and then spend the night. But, if I didn’t know better, I think Matt was jealous. I got the feeling that he thought that Tariq and I were over completely. But I was sure I had mentioned to him that we still talk and have a good rapport, despite not playing together every week like in the past. So, when I saw his face become very serious and then he asked if this was something I really wanted to do, it almost felt like he was hoping I would say no. It was as if he felt he was being betrayed. That’s quite odd coming from a man who shows very little emotions towards me. As a matter of fact, when he first contacted me that morning, I had told him I was just thinking about him and wanted to tell him how much I appreciated him and was happy he was in my life. His answer to that was rather unusual. He knew I was going to Gary’s in the afternoon and replied that he was surprised with my sentiments given where I was going later in the day.  My reply to that was to remind him that I am capable of caring (loving) for more than one individual at a time. I can’t use the word love with him, even after almost a year, because he would surely be very uncomfortable with it.  But, we had a wonderful chat and I reminded him that I really hope that his wife goes away for March break so that he and I can have our night together. You see, I was always expecting my first time to spend a night with one of my partners would be him. I never in my wildest dreams expected it to be the artist. After all, I just met him and me and Matt have been talking about spending a night together for almost a year now.

Now for my beautiful date with my new, talented and very special lover Gary. Yes, I suppose I have changed the verbiage on that, haven’t I. Normally, when I speak about my guys, I call them my partners. But for some reason, with Gary, it feels different. I guess it’s because he’s single and he has no issues about expressing his feelings towards me. This is really new for me because neither of my other two guys really have told me how they feel. Apart from telling me he cherishes me, Matt has never expressed much more. Although Tariq is a bit more upfront with his feelings but not as much. With all three of us being married, it certainly is understandable. We don’t need to be crossing lines.

With Gary though, he has already told me how much he cares about me, and I have done the same towards him.  He understands that I am married but we have decided not to hold back how we feel knowing full well that it may or may not last forever. We both decided it is better to care deeply and get hurt, then not care at all.  But I digress. Back to my date. When I arrived there, we sat and chatted for a bit then  he showed me the work he has been working on. After an hour or so, we sat and ate a wonderful roast that he took the time to make for me.  My husband rarely cooks so having Gary do that, was a real treat. While eating, we chatted about his and my families and learned more about each other. He’s very interesting. I enjoy his company tremendously. He makes me smile and fills my heart with joy.

Once dinner was over, we moved into the bedroom and had a nice glass of wine. After a while, he left to take a shower and I got undressed but left on my panties and put on my camisole.  When he returned from his shower with just a towel wrapped around his waist, he layed me down on the bed and we began kissing. He’s a wonderful kisser. I don’t kiss often so I certainly enjoy it when we do. For a man of 53, he has tremendous stamina and sex drive. He’s an amazing partner. He’s so generous and giving. I am a very lucky woman.  We played for a few hours, but with both of being sick, I was pretty worn out. He had more energy than I did but was fine with snuggling and caressing me. Not to mention going down on me for what seemed like hours. Wow, does he ever know what he’s doing down there to please me. I keep saying I’m a lucky woman, because I really am.

Our evening moved from playing to caressing and snuggling until I could no longer stay awake. He gave me some nighttime medication to help me sleep with my cold.  That act alone was very romantic to me. I just wish I felt better for our first time together. We could have played for many more hours if I felt better. But then again, after 3 hours of playing, my pussy is usually pretty worn out. I needed a break.

Morning came and the playing started all over again. I haven’t had morning sex in almost 20 years. What a great feeling. First time in a long time I didn’t need coffee to wake me up. I was wide awake and raring to go.  He simply turns me on so very much.

Our morning ended with a shower then breakfast at a local diner. We returned back to his place, snuggled some more, played a little bit then it was time for me to leave.

Leaving was difficult. I could have stayed in bed with him, dressed or not dressed and just enjoyed his company. We really have a great rapport and seem to intuitively understand each other.

When I arrived home, I noticed my husband was a bit cranky. He allows me to do these things, and I know he isn’t crazy about it, but the fact that he gives me the freedom to fill my emotional and physical needs tells me a lot about how much he loves me.  I made a point of telling him how much I appreciated him allowing me to go. After all, he is still my husband and I am still his wife. We have a bond that seems to be unbreakable but I am not foolish enough to believe. I still have be cognizant that he has feelings and it probably hurts him more than he expresses to me. For that, I love him even more. He loves me enough to give me my freedom, so I must not take advantage of that.

I’m a lucky woman.

 

 

Swinging – It’s a New Year and a New Day

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January 2017

Have you ever woken up feeling like you are the luckiest person around? Well, I kind of feel that way sometimes.

After all, not many people are lucky enough to have a husband who loves them enough to allow them to be with other men because he can’t. I know it sounds rather unorthodox and that some people will think that I should love him enough to not do it. Well, I understand where you are coming from. I felt that way for 11 years.  But then one day, I woke up and decided that my needs where stronger than what I could control. So, let me explain a bit what I mean by that.

You see, when I turned 50 almost 2 years ago now, I decided to focus on myself. I began to exercise and eat healthy and I wanted to feel good about me. I knew if I did that, I would have a better outlook on life in general. Prior to that, I always lived with what I call a low-grade depression. I was never really totally sad, but I was never really happy either. Being a trained counsellor, I knew that what I needed was to exercise and eat right. I just never did it because my life was always focused on taking care of everyone else.

But when my 50th came along in February 2015, I decided I was tired of living that way. I took matters into my own hands and subsequently lost 43 lbs in 6 months and have kept it off by staying on track. But, what happened to me during that time was incredible.

It was like I came out of a cocoon. My self-esteem grew stronger, my sense of self was more powerful than ever and my libido woke up. And considering I rarely had sex in 11 years, and was somewhat ok with that, it was kind of scary. Mostly because I knew my husband had very little ability to have sex which translated into no interest either. That scared me because I had needs and desires and I couldn’t control them.

So, for a while, he tried to fulfill me. But, it was kind of horrible. Picture yourself begging your partner to have sex with you, and they finally agree, reluctantly. While you are having sex, you can see the disinterest in your partner’s eyes. You can see them going through the motions and nothing more.  That’s not a good feeling at all. Nobody wants to feel like they are forcing their spouse or partner to have sex.

So, I made the decision to never ask him again. I decided that I had been humiliated enough and he made to feel dirty and ashamed because of it. That’s when I decided to buy myself my first vibrator and to see a psychologist to help me through my feelings.

I won’t go into the details of what was said during my session with the psychologist because I wrote about that previously, but suffice it to say that she made me realize that there were other options. But one thing for sure, my husband wasn’t happy about the vibrator. He seemed to think I was trying to replace him. To which I told him that a vibrator cannot replace human touch and affection.

So, after much discussion with my husband about the prospect of having sex with others, he reluctantly agreed. He didn’t like the idea but came to understand that it was what I needed.  He loved me enough to provide me with what I needed to feel satisfied.

Fast forward to November 2015, I joined a swingers website. It was all so new to me. I had never experienced that type of openness and sexual honesty ever. It’s really liberating to be able to talk to others about your fantasies, your sexual likes and dislikes and know that you won’t be judged.

I corresponded with one man from the site  for a month or so before we finally met. It didn’t work out but it was a learning experience. Then, in February 2016, I met 2 men – Tariq and Matt. Both within days apart. The first one I said no to Tariq because he wasn’t my type, but ended up reversing my decision  and met another man that I was very happy to – see blog post “Let’s continue the Story”.  But less than a week later I met Matt. I knew instantly he was the guy I wanted to be with. Tall, handsome and kind. We hit it off immediately.  Eleven months later, I am still with them both.

Then just recently, I met the Artist (see blog – The Artist and the Model). Have you ever met someone that you are drawn to immediately? Someone you feel like you have known all your life? Well, that’s what it felt like when I met Gary. I felt so at ease with him.

You see, for the longest time, I was seeking someone who could provide me with the affection and tenderness that I was not getting from my 2 guys or my husband for that matter.  Well I think he’s the guy that will provide that. I wasn’t looking for it and certainly didn’t think I would seek it from him when he first reached out to me. But it’s been so easy being with him. Almost like we’ve know each other a hundred years.  He’s in the swinging lifestyle too so it was easy to approach the subject of playing and being nude in front of him and posing for his art makes it easier because of that. He had mentioned to me when we first met that he would be open to play (have sex) if I was interested but I told him I wasn’t and he left it at that.  I quickly changed my mind once we started talking and he was sculpting me.  I asked him to play on the second visit. I couldn’t help myself. He turned me on so much.

I also have surprised myself in the sense that I have thought of nothing but him. Matt (my regular long-term guy) has not been at the forefront of my thoughts since meeting Gary. That is so new for me. Gary has captured my heart like no man has done in a long time. That also means I need to be careful to not let myself fall too deeply. After all, I am married.  And I’m really looking forward to see him again soon.

Looks like 2017 is heading into an interesting direction.