It’s happened. I’m falling deeply in love with my artist. So where do I go from here you ask? I’m not sure. But I do know one thing, I spend a lot of time thinking about him and wondering what my life would be if we were together as a permanent couple. Yes, I realize we are in the honeymoon period of our relationship at the moment, but it just feels so good and so right.
The other day during a very boring meeting, I found myself doing a list comparing him with my husband. I know that seems rather unusual for a woman my age (52) but I needed to find a way to sort things out in my head. You see, my husband doesn’t drive, doesn’t want or need sex, has no drive to better himself and refuses to do any type of physical work around the house. To top it all off, he’s a depressive human being and sees negativity all around him. Living with him hasn’t always been easy. He has put me in a depression simply from being with him so much and seeing him that way. It’s difficult on a person to live like that.
My artist on the other hand lives life to the fullest. Having lost his wife a few years ago, taught him that life is too short to be unhappy. I love that he is a positive person. Being around him makes me feel good. His positivity is as infectious and he makes me happy. Don’t get me wrong, my artist can be very serious and insightful when he needs to be. When I’m struggling with decisions about my marriage, he is always there willing and ready to talk to me about it. He doesn’t push me, nor try to convince me to stay or leave my husband. He wants it to be my decision so that when I finally do decide what it is I want to do there will be no regrets. He has also told me that regardless of my decision, he will support me throughout. He wants me happy and will be there for me to lean one when I need to. He’s a very special man.
Don’t get me wrong though, he is not perfect. Nobody is. This past week, I had a very bad day at work and simply needed to talk to him to say hello. But he was not answering my phone calls nor my texts. It was very upsetting. I felt that I had already been forgotten about. My insecurities took the best of me and had me believing that it was a case of out of sight, out of mind. But, the next day after he read my email to him telling him I was very upset that he ignored me so much, he apologized profusely and promised to do better. So far, I have to admit, he’s done better and I am happy about that. I’m not trying to control him, but being acknowledged by the one you love is nice and a couple of texts a day or a phone call is not too much to ask for in my opinion. Considering we only get to see each other once a week.
One thing we did talk about is if he and I get together as a couple, we would like to continue to swing with others, but together as a couple. We have been together for 3 months now and have had 2 other men join us to play. One was my other partner, and the other was a friend that I met at the club. He is what people call in the swinging community a BBC – Big Black Cock. And that he certainly is. It was a lot of fun for both of us and we don’t want to lose that type of playing any time soon. But I think that if we play together with others, our bond will strengthen. Playing apart as I have learned, can cause issues. Although my husband doesn’t play, I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of men on my own and it can open your eyes to things you are missing in your life. If I hadn’t chosen this lifestyle, our marriage may not be in jeopardy. It’s difficult to say though. So, I think playing together as a couple, you share a part of you with the person you love and it can be a bonding experience.
Life is too short not to live it to the fullest and for us this lifestyle allows us to explore our sexuality like we have never been free to do before.