Three Men and a Lady – My First Foursome

I had just experienced my first MMMF. I could not have continued playing any more that I had at that point, or so I thought​. ​

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I’ve been asked by a couple of readers to expand on my foursome experience from a few weeks ago. So, here it is.

A few weeks ago, we went to a swing party at a home ​an hour outside of town. ​ ​I had been there on my own in the past but this was the first time for Gary to go. He’d never been to a swing party at a home with this many people. ​There were about 40 couples and a ​few​ single guys ​on this particular night​.​ We were celebrating Easter so all the women were wearing their best Playboy Bunny outfits. A few men were dressed as Hugh Heffner so that was a lot of fun. I received several compliments on my costume. From what I was told, when I walked by, not only were the men watching me, but so were several women. My curves and long blond hair attract a lot of attention.

Gary and I were probably the first to go downstairs to have fun in the play area. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This was his first time there and he was excited to play. One by one, other couples came downstairs to join us in​ the play area as well. There was enough room around us that we had plenty​ of space​ to enjoy ourselves. After a while, Mike, a guy I had met before but never played with, came down to watch the action. At that point, Gary had asked me if I wanted to have someone join us. I thought to myself, why no​t, ​I know how much fun it can be. So, I invited Mike over. Wow, I was glad I did. Not only was he well endowed, but he has a great body. The whole package really. So, the three of us played ​blissfully​ together ​while​ the play area got more and more busy. Eventually, a couple​​ l​aid​ next to us. ​The room was getting crowded and there were about 6 other couples playing. ​At one point, the woman invited her husband to join her and her play partner. But, instead, he​ sat down behind Gary and​ started to touch me. First, he touched my legs, leading up to my pussy. His hands were soft and tender. Gary was on top of me, and I was sucking Mike. I guess at one point my eyes opened wide and Gary realized that there was someone behind him. He whispered to me asking me if I wanted to have this other man leave. I told him no, it was ​not necessary​.​ Normally, an individual would not join uninvited to play with people like that but I felt safe at that moment and didn’t mind. ​Within time, this man moved up closer, and started to caress my breasts while Gary was still fucking me and I was sucking Mike. It was so hot, having these 3 men playing with me,​ and knowing​ others around were watching​ us, it was a real turn-on​. I was on top of the world. I have never had that much stimulation at once from so many men. First I would suck Mike, then turned towards the other man. Gary moved over so Mike would have a chance to fuck me while I sucked him and this other guy. Spectacular! This lasted almost 2 hours. The touching, caressing, sucking and fucking was so overwhelming. I was panting hard, orgasming like crazy and simply totally spent when we were done. I had just experienced my first MMMF.  I could not have continued playing any more that I had at that point, or so I thought​. ​We​ slowly​ got dressed and went upstairs for a drink.
Within an hour, we decided to go back downstairs because Gary was going to put me on the table to give me a massage.

​While h​e massaged me​, ​I lay quietly watching a couple play together. This​ was a couple I had played with in the past, so watching them was pleasant. I knew they were married and found it really pleasing to see them still enjoy each other as much as they did.
While Gary was massaging me, a woman ​approached us and I asked if she wanted to join in. ​ She was happy to oblige. ​Once the massage was over though, ​I asked if she would be interested in playing with us. Well, Gary ha​d​ never played with 2 women before and I had never had a partner play with me and another woman so I was nervous about how I would feel about it. ​I was worried that I would be jealous and really hate the experience. So, from the massage table​, we went to the matt where we were going to play. Immediately, Gary started to do oral on this woman. And because I’m not bi, I started to massage his back and just touch him​ wherever​. But after a few minutes, I realized that ​there was no room in this trio for me​. Seeing that’s not my style, I looked over and saw the couple that I knew still playing. At that point, the husband saw me and invited me over. So, I took advantage of the invite and went over to play with him while Gary was busy with this other woman. Gary is a very visual person. He is also someone who rarely orgasms. He has only orgasmed 2 or 3 times in the past 4 months we’ve been together. Not because he’s not stimulated but because he has trained himself to not orgasm until his partner has been totally satisfied. But then, sometimes he goes beyond the point of being able to and it simply doesn’t happen. That’s what happened that night during the foursome. He simply could not orgasm. But, once he saw me sucking my friend’s cock, while he was fucking this ​new ​woman​ that​ he did not know, well, he ​exploded.​.. he came so quickly after entering her that he felt like it was his first time having sex. He simply couldn’t help himself. He was excited about the evening, he was excited watching me give oral to another man and he was excited that I invited a woman to play with him. It was the perfect storm. He blew his load after being in this woman for about 5 minutes. Something he had never done before. It was incredible. I was so relieved that I didn’t have that sense of jealousy. How could I? He has allowed me to have as many men as I want, when I want. I could not deny him that as well.​ I was happy to do it for him and will do it again. but the next time, he knows what he needs to do in order to make it a threesome. ​

Sex is pleasure. It doesn’t have to be about jealousy and getting emotions all tangled up. Yes, it can lead to that if you play with the person often, get to know them on a personal basis, such as Gary and I have, but if it’s a one-time thing or the occasional tryst, then it can be managed. I’m just glad I ​gave him that experience​. It made him so happy that I was able to do that for him. It was worth it​ and I will do it again.​

 

 

Sensual Touch

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Another weekend, another great sensual and sexy experience! Yes, I was lucky enough to spend the weekend with my wonderful artist Gary. He is the most sensual, exhilarating man that I know.

Our Friday evening started like any other Friday evening. A little bit of chatting, a glass of wine then kissing.​ We love to kiss and I’m so happy about that. I married a man who rarely enjoyed kissing so it’s been a beautiful re-discovery. Eventually​ we moved to the bedroom, ​and ​as usual, that’s when the magic happened. We started with a full body massage.  He works with large stones when he carves and it can take a toll on his body. So, for a treat, I la​y​ him down on his stomach, ​poured ​oil all over h​is back​ and started to​ give him a​ massage. ​Hearing the moans and groans, I knew he was enjoying it. With that inspiration, I got the idea to pour oil on my breasts, and proceeded to rub my whole front side up and down his back. ​By his reaction, ​​I could tell that he was enjoying himself immensely. This lasted for a short moment, until he turned around and looked at me. He had a look I have never seen from him before. His face had an expression of tranquility and desire. It was so beautiful to see. I had managed to make him feel just as I had felt on the evening he took such good care of me with a massage back in February. ​On that particular night, we were to go to a Valentine’s swing party but I simply was feeling too sad and vulnerable. ​I was not in the frame of mind to play with anyone. So, instead, ​that evening, he made me feel loved and desired. A feeling I had not felt in a long time.

Once he turned around and looked at me, we kissed and embraced. But then, that’s where the real action started. I wanted him to feel pampered and spoiled. The best way I know how to do that is to be on top and do the work. I love being on top. I love how he enjoys it so much and calls out my name. I love how he holds my breast while I move back and forth and the way he looks into my eyes with such love and adoration.  Being on top gives me the opportunity to ultimately please him while also being pleasured. It’s simply awesome.

This was probably one of the most sensual and romantic love making sessions I have ever experienced. I know we will never be able to repeat that very experience, but I look forward to many more in the months and hopefully the years to come.

I have been lucky to have a man such as Gary in my life. Yes, we met because he wanted to photograph me with the purpose of painting and sculpting my body, but his soul is what spoke to me when we met. I fell in love with him the first time I posed nude.

​Although h​e​ continuously​ tells me that he is the lucky on​e and that he​ has hit the jackpot by meeting me. Not only does he find me very beautiful, but because I am also very sexual, that has been a huge part of our relationship. We both revel in each others bodies and truly love sex. We have had male partners join us in our fun because Gary loves to watch me have sex. He finds me at my most beautiful when I am excited and turned on. He loves to watch a man please me and bring me to climax. When we play as a threesome, Gary will watch, take a few photos then join in on the fun. This whole process is a huge turn-on for him and I love it too. What’s not to love eh. I get to be with my lover and have the pleasure of choosing another man to join us.

I have gone from zero to 100 on the sex scale of joy in a short year and a half since I’ve started in this lifestyle.

 

 

I DID IT!

 

Well, I finally did it. Two major life events happened to me this past weekend; one great and the other, not so great.sadness-girl-umbrella-winter-sea-bridge-hd-wallpaper

First the great one!

My partner and I went to a swing party at a private home this past Saturday night. The theme for the evening was Playboy Bunny in honour of Easter being next weekend.  There were sexy bunnies all over the house and one Hugh Hefner. It was great!  But the best part of it all was that I had my first MMMF and it wasn’t even intentional. lol

I was playing with my partner Gary on the mattress having our own fun, then we decided to invite Mike to play, a guy that I’ve known since last summer but never played with.  We played the three of us together for 30 minutes. Gary, being very visual,  said I was watched non-stop by others who were standing around. While riding Mike at one point, there were no less than 10 people watching. It was a thrill.  Then, while the three of us were playing, a guy who’s wife was playing beside us came over and started touching me. Gary asked me if I wanted him to stop but I said no, I was fine with it. It’s unusual for someone to touch without asking first but in this case, I didn’t mind too much. I saw who it was and knew that his wife was beside me so I felt safe knowing he wasn’t going to do anything too weird.  It was all pretty incredible. I have never had 3 pairs of hands touching and caressing me at once while I had a penis in my mouth, and one in my pussy. Wow, is all I can say about that.

Even while wearing my bunny outfit, Gary would walk behind me and watch all the men and women turn their heads and follow my every move. hehehe  I guess I looked kinda cute and sexy. It was incredible.

The “not so great” part of the weekend was that I had to tell my husband that we are officially separating. You might be asking yourself – Is Swinging to blame for it? I don’t know. But what I do know is that now, I feel better about things, so let me tell you why.

For those of you that have been following my blog since the beginning, you know that I started into the Swinging Lifestyle because my husband hasn’t been able to have an erection since his stroke even with the little blue pill and therefore, sex no longer was a part of our lives. He eventually became able to but simply lost interest and no longer wanted to try.  It was hurtful.  I’m sure many of you out there are saying there is more than one way to have sex, and yes, I totally agree with you. But, my husband had no interest in giving me pleasure orally or with his fingers. As a matter of fact, he was insulted that after 10 years with no sex, I bought a vibrator. Can you imagine!  I needed affection, I needed to be touched and let’s face it, I needed sex. But he was unable and unwilling to give me any. So, after much thought and a visit to a psychologist, I decided to explore the swing world. I was terrified but I knew I needed something. I could no longer live without the touch of a man or the sensation of a penis inside of me. So, you tell me, was our break-up inevitable? I think so. Nobody can live like this forever. Even my mother, a former nun in the Catholic Church, told me recently that I needed to find a man and have sex with him, even if I am still married. She say’s men do it all the time so why shouldn’t I. She is very supportive of my separation and thinks it’s about time if this is what my life has been like. I never told her about his inability to have an erection until now. She obviously doesn’t know about my lifestyle but she understands that sex is important and clearly wants me to start living again.

So, after a few hiccups over a year ago, I found 2 amazing men and spent a year having sex with them and a few others on the occasion in between. Now, I am still with one of these men – Matt, and a new man, my artist Gary for the past 4 months along with a few others for good measure. Gary loves to watch me have sex with other men (being very visual) before joining in on the fun. I love it too. Threesomes are the best.  But as I mentioned in the past, I have fallen in love with him and now I want to explore where things can go relationship wise.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t leave my husband solely because of Gary, but I guess he was a part of it. You see, my husband is a chronically depressed person. He is negative and not always pleasant to be around. He also takes me for granted more than he should. Gary, despite losing his wife to diabetes five years ago, a woman he was married to for 25 years, he still find it easy to laugh and enjoy life to the fullest. It is so refreshing. I need that in my life.

But don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy and I am still struggling with the idea that my marriage is basically over.

 

 

Swinging – A Letter to my Lover

Who knew that day a year ago that we would still be together in this capacity. I certainly didn’t know what to expect when I met him but I did know immediately that I liked him. I could sense he was a nice person and that he would be easy to get along with. I was right about that. The fact that was tall, dark and handsome was certainly a bonus. Up until that point, I didn’t know I had a type. When I saw him walk into the coffee shop with his suit and beautiful smile, I decided right there and then that I had a type and he was it.

 

Yesterday was the one year anniversary that my partner Matt and I have been together. In honour of our anniversary, I decided to write him a letter about how I have been feeling and that I am very happy that we have managed to stay together.

Who knew that day a year ago that we would still be together in this capacity. I certainly didn’t know what to expect when I met him but I did know immediately that I liked him. I could sense he was a nice person and that he would be easy to get along with. I was right about that. The fact that was tall, dark and handsome was certainly a bonus. Up until that point, I didn’t know I had a type. When I saw him walk into the coffee shop with his suit and beautiful smile, I decided right there and then that I had a type and he was it.
I have wonderful memories of the beginning of our relationship. Laughing and making plans and creating our sexual bucket lists all while enjoying each others company. I remember being in the coffee shop and he would slip his hand up my skirt to find out I wasn’t wearing panties. Or he would have me lean forward so he could look down my top. Or while sitting in a workshop, he would snap a picture of his penis and send it to me. It was fun and light and we maximized on the sexual tension that was between us leading up to our next play date. Remembering those coffee dates will always be cherished and will always put a smile on my face.
I must admit, there have been times that I wondered if we were going to make it this far. For instance, when he came back from his month-long business trip. He had changed so much and we no longer had that light playfulness between us. It was actually painful at times and I remember crying for an hour after we had our first meeting. It was extremely sad. I’m not exactly sure how we made it past that point but something turned around along the way, I’m not sure where or when, but I was glad we stuck it out. It would have been a mistake to let it end that way because it had been so wonderful up to that point and became wonderful again.
For a month leading up to Christmas, I had resigned to being just with him and was quite content that way.  Meeting  him every morning for coffee was enough for me and I wished it could have continued. I was happy and felt very fulfilled with our relationship the way it was. Unfortunately, it all came to an abrupt end when my office moved across town. Now we try to see each other at least once a week but that’s not always feasible either.

The reason I decided to write the letter was to express to him all the feelings that I have kept pent up. As you can imagine, after a year, feelings grow but he is married and therefore, it is somewhat easier to keep them at bay and not get too caught up into the moment.

And I have my artist partner now as well. He is a widower. He is more the way I am. I need to tell people how I feel about them and express my feelings. He does as well. This makes it much easier to share our feelings knowing full well that I am still married and therefore nothing will come of it.

But therein lies the problem.  Is it really fair that I allow myself to get swept up in a relationship with a man, while married? Yes, my husband has given me permission to play with others, but when I embarked on this lifestyle, I agreed to not date single men. With my artist, things have taken a bit of a turn. I wasn’t planning on playing with him at all. The purpose of meeting with him was to pose and for him to sculpt and paint me. But, I felt very good with him and we had an instant connection. So far, I have stayed at his home overnight twice now and I have never done that with any of my other partners. We see each other at least twice or three times a week. We love each others company and have a wonderful sexual relationship together.  This is all pretty scary. Now, I realize that we never would have allowed our emotional relationship to move as quickly if we were both single, knowing the implications of what that means, but we have expressed ourselves freely  because of me being married.  I’ve never done that with my other partners.

When I started out in this lifestyle, my expectations were never to find a new husband. I love my husband now and I did when I started out. But, I have realized was that I missed the connection and emotional attachment with my husband. Yes, the sex was gone, but so were the other elements. They are extremely important aspects of a marriage and when those are all missing, there’s not much else. We have a friendship and a wonderful son, a beautiful history together but is that always enough? What about the passion and love? Does that ever come back? Do I ruin what we have and hope that one day I will capture all that I feel I have been missing with another man? It scares the hell out of me. But at the same time, staying scares me too. After all, I’m not getting younger.

PS. The reply I received from my partner Matt to the letter I sent to him was simply wonderful. Suffice it to say, he feels the same and even used the words love when he spoke about he and I. He didn’t say he loved me but he did say there was love and for me, that’s good enough. That’s the first time he has ever come close to admitting those feelings to me. 🙂  I’m a happy woman.

On another note, I will be an even happier women by the end of today. The reason for that is my partner Matt is coming over to my artist partner’s home and Matt and I will pose for him so he can sculpt us. Then the three of us will have a play date together. I can’t wait. Threesomes are absolutely the best!

 

Swinging – It’s a New Year and a New Day

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January 2017

Have you ever woken up feeling like you are the luckiest person around? Well, I kind of feel that way sometimes.

After all, not many people are lucky enough to have a husband who loves them enough to allow them to be with other men because he can’t. I know it sounds rather unorthodox and that some people will think that I should love him enough to not do it. Well, I understand where you are coming from. I felt that way for 11 years.  But then one day, I woke up and decided that my needs where stronger than what I could control. So, let me explain a bit what I mean by that.

You see, when I turned 50 almost 2 years ago now, I decided to focus on myself. I began to exercise and eat healthy and I wanted to feel good about me. I knew if I did that, I would have a better outlook on life in general. Prior to that, I always lived with what I call a low-grade depression. I was never really totally sad, but I was never really happy either. Being a trained counsellor, I knew that what I needed was to exercise and eat right. I just never did it because my life was always focused on taking care of everyone else.

But when my 50th came along in February 2015, I decided I was tired of living that way. I took matters into my own hands and subsequently lost 43 lbs in 6 months and have kept it off by staying on track. But, what happened to me during that time was incredible.

It was like I came out of a cocoon. My self-esteem grew stronger, my sense of self was more powerful than ever and my libido woke up. And considering I rarely had sex in 11 years, and was somewhat ok with that, it was kind of scary. Mostly because I knew my husband had very little ability to have sex which translated into no interest either. That scared me because I had needs and desires and I couldn’t control them.

So, for a while, he tried to fulfill me. But, it was kind of horrible. Picture yourself begging your partner to have sex with you, and they finally agree, reluctantly. While you are having sex, you can see the disinterest in your partner’s eyes. You can see them going through the motions and nothing more.  That’s not a good feeling at all. Nobody wants to feel like they are forcing their spouse or partner to have sex.

So, I made the decision to never ask him again. I decided that I had been humiliated enough and he made to feel dirty and ashamed because of it. That’s when I decided to buy myself my first vibrator and to see a psychologist to help me through my feelings.

I won’t go into the details of what was said during my session with the psychologist because I wrote about that previously, but suffice it to say that she made me realize that there were other options. But one thing for sure, my husband wasn’t happy about the vibrator. He seemed to think I was trying to replace him. To which I told him that a vibrator cannot replace human touch and affection.

So, after much discussion with my husband about the prospect of having sex with others, he reluctantly agreed. He didn’t like the idea but came to understand that it was what I needed.  He loved me enough to provide me with what I needed to feel satisfied.

Fast forward to November 2015, I joined a swingers website. It was all so new to me. I had never experienced that type of openness and sexual honesty ever. It’s really liberating to be able to talk to others about your fantasies, your sexual likes and dislikes and know that you won’t be judged.

I corresponded with one man from the site  for a month or so before we finally met. It didn’t work out but it was a learning experience. Then, in February 2016, I met 2 men – Tariq and Matt. Both within days apart. The first one I said no to Tariq because he wasn’t my type, but ended up reversing my decision  and met another man that I was very happy to – see blog post “Let’s continue the Story”.  But less than a week later I met Matt. I knew instantly he was the guy I wanted to be with. Tall, handsome and kind. We hit it off immediately.  Eleven months later, I am still with them both.

Then just recently, I met the Artist (see blog – The Artist and the Model). Have you ever met someone that you are drawn to immediately? Someone you feel like you have known all your life? Well, that’s what it felt like when I met Gary. I felt so at ease with him.

You see, for the longest time, I was seeking someone who could provide me with the affection and tenderness that I was not getting from my 2 guys or my husband for that matter.  Well I think he’s the guy that will provide that. I wasn’t looking for it and certainly didn’t think I would seek it from him when he first reached out to me. But it’s been so easy being with him. Almost like we’ve know each other a hundred years.  He’s in the swinging lifestyle too so it was easy to approach the subject of playing and being nude in front of him and posing for his art makes it easier because of that. He had mentioned to me when we first met that he would be open to play (have sex) if I was interested but I told him I wasn’t and he left it at that.  I quickly changed my mind once we started talking and he was sculpting me.  I asked him to play on the second visit. I couldn’t help myself. He turned me on so much.

I also have surprised myself in the sense that I have thought of nothing but him. Matt (my regular long-term guy) has not been at the forefront of my thoughts since meeting Gary. That is so new for me. Gary has captured my heart like no man has done in a long time. That also means I need to be careful to not let myself fall too deeply. After all, I am married.  And I’m really looking forward to see him again soon.

Looks like 2017 is heading into an interesting direction.

The Artist and the Model

Have you ever been told that you inspired someone enough to want to paint and sculpt you? Well, up until 2 weeks ago, I never had, not really. But now, that’s all changed.

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Have you ever been told that you inspired someone enough to want to paint and sculpt you? Well, up until 2 weeks ago, I never had, not really.  But now, that’s all changed.

You see, 2 weeks ago I was contacted by a local artist who is also in the swinging lifestyle. He has a profile on the same swinging website that I do. So when he saw my pictures, he contacted me and asked if I would be interested in modelling for him. I had received emails like that in the past but they always seemed a bit sketchy. The aim for those artists was always to have me come to their homes so they could sketch me but with the full intentions of me playing with them. But, in this instance, he told me that if I wanted to play, that was optional but it was not his main intention. What he really wanted was a woman with beautiful curves that he could use in a series of sculptures and paintings he could show at an art gallery. Well, that idea was certainly intriguing. He sent me a link to his website so that I could view his other art with the express purpose to prove to me that he really was what he said he was; an artist. And he proved to me that he was legit.  I became very excited about posing for a real artist along with the prospect of being immortalized on canvas and stone.

A few days later, I agreed to meet with him over coffee to see if he was someone that I felt I could trust and be at ease with. After all, I was going to be spending several hours with that man, nude in his home for long periods time. It was important for me to feel comfortable with him. As luck would have it, he is a warm, affectionate and caring individual. I instantly liked him and felt his warmth come across. Almost like someone I had known for a very long time. I agreed to pose for him the moment he smiled at me and said hello.

This past Tuesday, that moment finally came. What an amazing experience it was. I arrived at his home and he proceeded to show me around his studio, all his art work and the pieces he was planning of making of me. I admired his paintings and his multi-medium pieces, along with the sculptures he had carved in stone and marble. I was very excited at the prospect of posing for him. Eventually, we made our way back to his bedroom which he also turned into a mini studio. He has a large home but he is a widower and prefers to work late into the night. In order to not disturb his son who also lives with him, he uses a smaller space in his bedroom as another studio. Which as it turns out, is necessary so that I can pose for him on his bed.

The first thing I did was to undress. He offered to leave the room but I thought that was pointless because he was going to walk in and see me naked 2 minutes later anyhow. Besides, I’m very comfortable with my body and have no issues with my own nudity. Once I was undressed, he had me lie on the bed and he proceeded to take over 300 pictures of my body in various positions.  He wanted to capture every detail of me so that when I wasn’t with him and he was working, he would have a reference of my body. It was a little odd having him take so many pictures so up close. Sometimes it was of just of a breast, other times it was of my legs or full body shots. Regardless of the shots he took, he was always very complimentary of me and he gave me a copy of all the pictures along with permission to use whatever I wanted. So, I did. I posted 9 beautiful nudes of me on the swingers website where he and I met and enjoyed all the  wonderful comments I received from others who saw them.

That first day came to an end after 4 hours, 2 glasses of wine and a lot of laughter and getting to know each other. It was an amazing day. I went home looking forward to our next meeting. I was rather surprised by how turned-on I was by the whole process. To have someone so intimately scrutinize every part of my body, looking at shapes and details, then to tell me that I am beautiful every chance he had, well, let me say this much, he made me feel beautiful. More beautiful than I had felt in a long time. After all, I’m almost 52. Yes, I do get a lot of compliments on my photos. I have a beautiful curvaceous body. My hips are defined with a smaller waist and nice size breasts. I’ve been told that I have a body shaped like Marilyn Monroe, but nobody has a body like hers. I can only aspire to looking that good. But none the less, I love my body and iI take care of it to keep it strong and healthy. But he made me feel incredibly sexy. I was very turned on by his essence and his way of being. He is a sensuous, sexy man and I wanted to do more than just to pose for him.  So, before I left, I asked him to save time the following time we got together so we could play.

On day 2 of my experience as an artist’s model was equally thrilling and ended much differently than the first day. This time we started our morning chatting and talking about the sculpture he had started the previous evening. He was inspired by our day together and wanted to start working immediately.

Once I undressed, he placed me in my pose. His hands moved along my body, touching the curvature of my spine, my hips, my arms and legs. He was feeling for muscle definition to understand my body for when he began carving the details. We worked like this for about 2 hours, took a small break then worked some more.  After a couple of hours, when I got off the bed, he laid down a fresh sheet over his comforter. He then asked me to lay on my stomach because he was going to give me a massage. I got very excited knowing that work was done, and now playtime was beginning. It was finally his turn to be naked with me.

I’d like to say though, that my new artist friend is not the typical type of guy I normally go for.  I’ve always been attracted to men who are very tall (although I’m only 5’4″), athletic, and with a thick head of hair and between 30-48 yrs old. And, that describes both of my current partners. They are both 6 feet or more with great hair and nice bodies. Well, my artist friend does not necessarily match that profile. Yes, he’s tall but less than 6 feet, not athletic (he could stand to lose a few pounds but then again, I could too) and has thinning hair. But, he’s got something else that nobody else has, that attracted me to him. He has the soul of an artist.  He’s giving, creative and very sensitive. Being with him is easy and I love being surrounded by his energy.

Once he began massaging my back with him wonderful beautiful hands, I felt the electricity between us starting to build. He moved down my back towards my bum and then started to massage between my legs.  I was so turned on, I couldn’t wait for him to move his hands closer to my pussy and massage me there. I was squirming and moving until he could no longer resist me either. Eventually, he had me on my hands and knees and entered me from behind.  OMG, he felt amazing. What a feeling to have this man inside of me. Thinking about how he made me feel, has kept me wanting more from him and in a hurry. That was over 3 days ago now and I still am longing for his touch.

Now, I’m not typically someone who likes to describe the details of my playing with others because to me, it’s very private. Particularly because of the men I chose to play with. My 2 regular partners have been in my life for 11 months now. I have grown very attached to them and our playtime is very intimate. Now, with the artist, although I’ve only been with him once, I know already that he and I are going to be together for a long time. At least that’s my hope. I know without a doubt that our playtime will be something special in the future as well and probably even more intimate as we get to know each other better. He has made me feel like I haven’t felt in a long time.

I will continue to add more details about my artist and our sessions together. I imagine they will be very sensual and again, probably not so much what swinging is all about. But, I can’t help who I am. At the heart of it all, I am someone who loves intimacy and tenderness. The Swinging Lifestyle is not necessarily set up to be that way and that’s fine. Because those moments when I do want to swing with another couple or partner, I want it to be fun and light, with great sex. With my 3 guys, it’s great sex mixed with fun, sensuality and a sense of comfort.

Swinging – Decisions, Decisions

I can have casual, consensual sex with men who I find interesting and attractive. If a relationship builds while at the club, then that’s fine, but I won’t be looking for it anymore.

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I no longer wanted to meet men to establish a relationship to become a long-term playing partner. I realize that in the past, it was very important to me to know my partner and to know him well. The better we knew each other, the more at ease we would be when it came to having sex. It’s easier to ask for what you want and feel less judged if you want to explore something new.  But I realize now that I may have been chasing the impossible. I think I was looking for the type of relationship that I had with one of my other partners. The one that I split from three weeks ago. This type of relationship takes time and energy, neither aspects that I want to engage in at the moment. He and I were together for 9 months so I know that finding someone new to play with won’t happen overnight.

I know that no man can fulfill all my physical and emotional needs and desires while also being my sexual partner. First of all, being married precludes me from having a real relationship where that can happen, and what I mean by  that is all the perks, bells and whistle that come along when you are seeking to build a life with a new partner.  In the swingers world, that can’t happen between sexual partners. When it does, it usually leads to divorce. This divorce was likely to happen even without playing with others outside of the marriage. So, that’s not usually the cause, but just a symptom.  This is why I am very pro-polyamory (having more than one  loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent all involved).  If our society was more accepting of it, I would certainly find myself in that situation. I know I have the capacity to love more than one man at a time. Besides, I truly don’t think one person can fulfill all your needs, emotional or physical and nor should they have to.

Despite some of the pitfalls, I think I have the best of both worlds. I have a stable marriage with my husband, a wonderful play partner that I enjoy  my morning coffee with every day, and great sex with at least once a month. So, you see, the sex might not be often, but the friendship and closeness we have after 9 months is fantastic. You could say I’m a very lucky woman. No, we don’t tell each other we love each other or pledge our undying love, but we have a different kind of closeness. It’s “No Ordinary Love” as he once pointed out to me. We can’t allow ourselves to cross those boundaries. If we did, then both our marriages could be in trouble. I use to long for him to fulfill my emotional needs but I realize that would be a mistake. Although, I have been asked the question by a couple of friends if I would leave my husband for him. There are days that I would in a heartbeat. But there are also days where I think to myself that he cheats on his wife. Why would I want to put myself through that. Then I think that I would be happy to have sex with him at least once a week, more if we had the time so he would have no need to go elsewhere. It’s sort of like a cat chasing it’s tail. I spin the same way on the issue. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to leave my husband, it’s just on those days that I’m annoyed and angry at him. After 25 years together, they are certainly bound to happen. Even after a couple of months together that can happen. Doesn’t mean you ruin a good thing when the chips are down.

The major decision that I came to today was that I would no longer look for a long-term partner but instead go the to local swinger parties  and clubs around town and find myself a little fun there. As you can imagine, sex once a month with my partner isn’t enough, so having a bit of fun at the club is what I need to do to fulfill my sexual needs. No worries of building long-term relationships for the time being. I can have casual, consensual sex with men who I find interesting and attractive.  If a relationship builds while at the club, then that’s fine, but I won’t be looking for it anymore. I will be content to be with my husband and my sexual partner and enjoy the perks of playing with whomever I desire, in a clean and safe environment.

Swinging is great!