Swinging – Let’s continue the story

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Fast forward to February 2016

My husband went away for the weekend to visit our son who was living temporarily in another city 4 hours away. Steve, the guy who lasted less than 10 seconds the first time we got together to have sex in his truck and I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to get together to have sex in a bed. We had only been together the one time in the truck and knew that this weekend presented itself as the perfect chance. We spoke about it for a couple of weeks to make sure we were both on the same page regarding his arrival, what we will do, what I needed to buy, etc.

Saturday morning finally came. I spoke with him by Skype and he decided that he would be there sometime around 4pm.  I was very excited. I had bought all the groceries I needed to make us a nice supper to set the right ambiance. I was going to be cooking for him and wanted it to go well. From there, our plan was to spend the rest of the evening playing in bed. He was going to stay over and leave Sunday after lunch. That gave us a lot of play time and I was really looking forward to it.

I prepared the supper early so that when he arrived, I would be able to focus my attention on him. I was in a great mood. I was excited. I felt like a high school girl with a crush. It was a great feeling. I was going to finally have sex.

Finally, at 4pm, I started to get a bit nervous. I was worried that he wouldn’t have fun, he wouldn’t like what I cooked, I was dressed wrong, etc. All the usual feelings of nervousness on your first real “date”. By 5pm, I was worried that something had happened because he still hadn’t arrived. I was worried because I couldn’t reach him. But then, by 6pm, he finally messaged me and told me he wasn’t coming over. He had a change of heart and decided that I was toxic for him. That every time we planned to get together, he would get a migraine. He thought that it was my fault that he was getting sick. Truth be known, I think it was his fear of failure again. The fact that he wasn’t able to perform the first time, he was probably fearful it would happen again.

I can’t tell you how disappointed I was. I was just floored. I had not had decent sex in forever and I was just beside myself. While I was crying, I received a Skype message from a man by the name of Tariq that I had met just a few days prior. I had told him what had happened and that I was going to go to the Swing club and meet someone so that I can finally have sex.

Tariq was a man I met for coffee to see if we were compatible to play together. I had decided against it because he looked so nervous. In my mind, I needed someone who was sure of himself because I was nervous enough for us both. So, while we skyped, he had asked me to wait before going to the club because he wanted to come and see me. He wanted to talk about this idea of me going to the club because he was genuinely concerned for my wellbeing and would live to regret my move.

Tariq arrived an hour later. He wasn’t the classic guy that I would normally go for. He was tall, but thin and attractive enough but not someone I would look at twice. But at the moment he walked into the house, he looked at me with such compassion and care, that I grabbed him, kissed him and began undressing him in my hallway. I then dragged him to my marital bedroom and started to strip him naked. He was doing the same to me and by the time we were both undressed, we were breathing hard and ready for each other. Luckily I had condoms and lube. I had prepared for Steve’s arrival.

Within 15 minutes of Tariq walking into my home, we were in bed having wild and wonderful sex.  At that moment, I realized that I hadn’t felt that good in what felt like my entire life. I experienced my first orgasm in almost 15 years. It was incredible. He was gentle when I needed him to be, but in control when I wanted that. He also knew exactly how to make me orgasm.

To this day, he and I are still having great sex. We have an incredible sexual compatibility. The most orgasms I’ve ever experienced are with him and that was a total of 7 in a span of 4 hours. He knows how to turn me on. He knows what I like and how I like it.

But, I think that story will have to be told another time. Stay tuned.

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My first encounter with a couple

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This past Saturday night, I had my first encounter with a couple. The woman had contacted me on the site, and we began chatting. She was very nice and I liked her immediately. After we exchanged pleasantries all afternoon, we exchanged face pictures to see if we were physically attracted to each other.

Well, this young woman and her boyfriend were extremely attractive. She’s tall, thin and blond and he is tall, athletic with a full head of dark brown hair and a nicely trimmed beard. According to the site, they were 26 and 28. Not so bad, I thought. But, I also wondered what they wanted with an older woman like me. I’m 51 afterall. Not necessarily what most young people are looking for in a partner. But, they were willing to drive 2 hours to meet me and book a hotel, so I agreed.

We met 4 hours later here in town. We had planned to meet in the bar before going upstairs, just so we could have a chat and get to know each other a bit. It was also, to give us a chance to unwind and loosen up a bit. I still get nervous meeting new people and they had only done this once before, over a year ago, so they liked the idea of having a drink first too.

Once we exchanged pleasantries, we left the bar and proceeded upstairs. We got into the room and again, had another drink. The only thing they had was rum and I’m not a big rum drinker so I sipped mine without mix. He and she drank theirs at a nice steady pace.

Finally, it was time to undress. I removed my knee high boots and tight black dress. Mike came behind me and kissed me on the neck. Meanwhile, Penny removed her jeans and sweater to reveal perfect beautiful body, with small perky breast. She was flawless. I was in awe of her 5’9″ height, her flat perfect stomach and beautiful soft skin. She was a true beauty and I’m not even bi-sexual or bi-curious. I have no real desire to be with a woman but I knew at that moment, that if I was going to be with one, I was glad it was going to be her.

After we got over our nervousness, we all got on the bed. Penny began by giving Mike oral while I watched. Then she moved over a bit and I began to suck on his balls while she continued to suck on his penis. By all accounts, he was enjoying it very much. We continued playing, he and I, her and him, me and her. Yes, she went down on me and I on her. It wasn’t a horrible experience, in fact, I liked hearing her moan and enjoy what I was doing to her. While I was giving her oral, Mike was taking me from behind. So, as you can well imagine, we were all being well satisfied. The playing continued like this for awhile. We were having a good time, but then all of a sudden, he went soft. No amount of oral from Penny would get him hard again. So she asked me to give it a shot. Well, I managed to get him hard enough to enter her. After all, he had managed to stay hard enough to enter me for a while, I thought it was only fair that she get pleased by her boyfriend too.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t able to retain his erection for long with her. So, after a bit of time went buy and she and I used the toys she brought, I decided it was time for me to leave. I was feeling rather awkward and I knew they were too.

So, by 11:30 pm, my encounter with a couple had ended almost as quickly as it got started.

They were lovely people, but I’m guessing the stress to perform for 2 women, or to perform in front of his girlfriend, was simply too  much. Not the mention the alcohol. A lesson to learn guys. It’s a fine line between relaxing and not performing. Be careful!

 

Paranoia

So, are they being paranoid? Or am I simply not careful enough with my safety?

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I guess that title sounds a little odd for a blog talking about swinging and the whole lifestyle that surrounds it. Well, let me tell you why I chose that title and maybe you can decide for yourself whether or not it’s appropriate.

This Thanksgiving weekend (in Canada), I was approached by a woman on the swingers website that I am a member of, asking me if I would be interested in playing with her husband while she was away travelling. She’s a flight attendant and would be overseas for the next 8 months on assignment and wants someone for her husband.  All their swinging friends are couples so when she plays with the husband, he plays with the wife. When I say play, I actually mean have sex, in case you are wondering.

She doesn’t want him to have to go looking for various partners to have fun with but instead, would prefer for him to have someone stable. In the swinging world, that’s not so uncommon. Having a stable partner but still playing with others is nice. Oftentimes that stable partner is a spouse, but in my case, it’s my 2 guys that I have been playing with for 8 months now. It’s not my husband, because he could care less about sex most of the time.

When I spoke to my partners about all that was discussed with her via email, and subsequently the husband by text, my partners started to ask some pertinent questions. Such as, a) why is he willing drive almost 2 hours from home to play with me (according to another friend, it’s because I’m one in a million and I’m super hot, 😉 but I digress) or b) why would he ask me to delete all the messages off my phone that he had sent me. And so on and so forth. I spoke to each of my guys today about it separately for an hour. They each want me to have proof of who he is, where he lives, the times we meet, where we are meeting, his age, etc. You get the idea. All things that I did not ask of them when I agreed to meet them for coffee then subsequently have come to my home to play and nobody knew about it but them and I. And nothing happened. I was safe. Furthermore, Manny (the husband of lady that contacted me) is a paramedic and they think it’s possible that he takes that knowledge and creates some sort of cocktail of drugs and uses it on me to rape me or have his way with me.

So, are they being paranoid? Or am I simply not careful enough with my safety? That’s a really good question that I have been asking myself. I tend to be trusting of people and what they tell me. I take what they say at face value because I’m an honest person. I guess you can say that I am naive in thinking others are the same. Maybe I lucked in and got the best two guys on the site.

Now, I have to decide if I play with Manny or I tell him that I’m not interested because my partners are paranoid and worried for my safety. Incidentally, my husband had no issues about it until I told him what my partners had to say. Now he too is telling me to dump him.

I think the smart thing to do is to come right out and ask him all these questions and if he is reluctant to answer them, then I know my answer, right?

Update – It turns out my guys were right to be suspicious of him. This man was a posting pictures of a latino model pretending it was his wife. So, there was no wife at all. He was probably going to scam me sometime down the road. But because of my guys, he never got the chance.

Today, it hurts

crying-eye-1024x683Although this doesn’t follow the sequence of events that brought me to where  I am now in my life, I thought I would interject with a little bit of information on the pitfalls of the swing lifestyle. At least in my case.

So, I’ve been with the same two guys I met in February 2016. I have been with each of them for the past 8 months now. No, not together, but with each of them separately. We have only been together in a threesome situation once, and let me tell you, it was the best sex of my entire life. I even questioned myself and them, jokingly, if I would ever want to go back to being with just one man at a time after that. It was that great and I highly recommend it to anyone who has two partners they trust and enjoy.  At that point, we had been playing together for the past 7 months and understood what each other enjoyed the most and what their preferences and expertise were. For instance, one of my guys loves giving oral and is very very good at it. While the other loves to suck on my nipples. That act alone could almost bring me to orgasm. So, you see, if we had not played together for these past few months, we never would have know that about each other.

Now, for the issue:   I think because I have been with them as long as I have, they have started to take advantage of my good nature and accommodating style.  Let me give you an example of what I mean.

Last week, I had the house to myself for the first time in quite a few months. I was excited to be able to take new pictures of myself in lingerie and nudes and to experiment with lighting. I like taking pictures of myself. It makes me feel sexy and beautiful. Also, it was an opportunity to post new pictures on the swingers website I am on.  So, in the morning, once I completed my chores, I went to meet one of my partners (let’s call him Matt) for lunch. We had a great time, chatting away about everything. He and I tend to have coffee more often than sex. We really enjoy each others company, even outside of the bedroom. He wanted to meet me to tell me that he was going to try to attend the Halloween party at the swing club I go to. So, it was a pleasant surprise because I’ve wanted to spend time at the club with him in the past but he was never able to due to fear of being recognized plus the fact that he is married and his wife is unaware that he is cheating.

After lunch, once I returned home, the house was empty. So, I quickly changed into my lingerie and started taking pictures.  I was having fun and feeling good about myself. I was relaxed and enjoyed being home alone. But then, I remembered that my other partner, Tariq, wanted to come over.  I had asked him to wait until Thursday because we had a hotel room booked to spend the afternoon together and it was only Monday, no need to see each other twice that week. And, waiting until Thursday would allow the excitement and sexual tension to build up. But, he didn’t want that. He wanted to come over in that afternoon.  Despite my better judgement and what I really wanted, I told him he could come. I convinced myself that after all, it doesn’t happen often that I can have my guys over at the house; I didn’t really want to pass up the opportunity so I reluctantly said yes.

Two o’clock came, my partner showed up and I felt slightly annoyed. I had been having such a good time on my own, and it all had to come to a stop because he was there.  I realize that I could have put my foot down and told him no, he couldn’t come over. But, me being as accommodating as I am, reluctantly said yes. I had told him I preferred not to get together, but he didn’t want to hear that.

Now, for my partner, Matt. Matt is tall (6’4”), handsome and in my eyes, a very attractive man. He could be a model for GQ if you ask me.  When I met him, I knew immediately that I wanted to be with him. I was blown away by his presence and his gentle nature. The best part about him, is he doesn’t know how attractive he is. He’s always surprised when I tell him. So, now you are asking yourself why there is a problem, I’m sure.  Well, you see, the problem is, I have developed feelings for this man. Strong feelings. Feelings that someone in my situation has no business having. I have to be careful when I express to him what I am feeling because I worry that he will go run to the hills. He told me once that a woman asked him to leave his wife for her. He broke it up with her immediately. He too is married and has been so for 20 years. So, that sent a strong signal to me to keep my feelings to myself. But, me being me, I have not been able to. I told him that I care for him deeply although I have no expectations of either of us changing our marital status.  Him, being the way he is, which is basically someone who is unable to express his emotions, told me that he cherishes me and the time we spend together. So, you ask, where’s the problem? The problem is, he doesn’t pay enough attention to me. I want him to acknowledge me in a more concrete way. I want him to send me a message to say hello and ask how my day is going. I don’t need a grand pronouncement that he will love me forever. I just need him to message me during the day just to say hi and know that he is thinking of me. Is that too much to ask for? I wonder.

Even in this lifestyle, people do let their emotions get in the way of sex.  We can’t help it. We are human beings and we live by our emotions. Women particularly are vulnerable to the emotional aspect of being with a partner, especially when having a long-term relationship with someone. It’s bound to happen. Guys tend to be better at compartmentalizing their feelings.

Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it hurts. Today, it hurts.  Today I feel lonely, despite all the attention I receive from a variety of men. But like my partner Tariq said to me, attention is different than intimacy. Sex is great when one is engaged but once the activity ends, no matter how good the sex is, it’s not going to take away the loneliness.

Swinging to keep my Marriage

If you are under 18  you should probably stop reading. This blog is not meant for you. Thank you.

First, before I tell you my story, let me give you a couple of definitions. One  I found on a Swinging  website and the other I came up with on my own. It will help you understand a bit about what I’m talking about if you don’t already know.

Swinging 

“Swinging is a form of recreational social sex between consenting adults, most commonly consisting of male/female couples meeting other male/female couples for sex and/or ongoing intimate friendships. In its simplest form, “swinging” is enjoying consensual sexual experiences with people other than your regular partner.

Most people, who swing and are part of a couple, do so with the full knowledge, consent and, usually the participation of, their partner. Within this, however, there is a broad spectrum of activities. For some, swinging forms a big part of their life, for others it is an occasional “treat”. Some people enjoy a wide variety of swinging partners; others form long-standing relationships with one couple. For some, swingers “anything goes”, while others confine themselves to limited experiences that they enjoy, for example girls exploring their bisexuality together whilst the partners simply watch.

Swingers have traditionally been largely middle class and tend to blend in quite easily with the general population in terms of appearance and ideology.”

Open Relationship

An open relationship signifies a relationship where one or both partners have agreed that monogamy, sexual fidelity or exclusivity are not expected. (my definition)

About Me

laying-copyIn 2005, my husband had a stroke at the age of 50. Now, I realize that he wasn’t super young but also he certainly was younger than the average stroke patient. So, it came as a real surprise that this stroke  could have potentially taken his life.

With the stroke came many different issues, one of them being the inability to have an erection. That was tough on his ego and tough on us as a couple. Here I was, in the prime of my life (I’m 10 years younger than he is) and we were no longer having sex. This continued for 1o long years. Occasionally I would ask him to go to the doctor to obtain some sort of performance enhancing pills. He would, we use the 5 that were prescribed in about 5 months then nothing for another year or so.

Finally, in February 2015 when I turned 50, I decided it was time for me to eat healthy and exercise. Through this process, I lost 42lbs and feel amazing. I have beautiful curves and I once again love my body. You see, I have a friend at work that is a year or 2 older than me and she is absolutely beautiful. Not only did she inspire me to lose weight, knowing that I could look like her, but she also inspired me to write this blog. She tells me that she likes to live vicariously through me because she can’t do what I have done. 🙂

Along with the weight loss and healthy lifestyle, I also decided I wanted to have sex again. I was tired of being celibate. I wanted to be touched by a man. I was craving the touch of a man and wanted sex. I was at the point in my life when that was all I thought about. My hormones were raging and I was beginning to feel out of control. I reduced myself to begging my husband for sex. I know, it sounds awful, and trust me it was. I humiliated myself in order to make love to my own husband. He finally relented. It was so bad. I could see he was going through the motions and was not enjoying himself at all. I felt terrible. It was like I was forcing him into sex and he was feeling pressured.

In July, 2015 I decided to go and see a psychologist because my hormones were going out of whack and I could no longer control my need for sex. I needed a physical outlet but I also needed her to help me deal with the emotional aspect of what I was going through. Much to my surprise, she suggested I go to the bar and pick up a guy anonymously and have sex with him. She said it would be easy and I would get what I need.

Well, not only was I shocked by her suggestion, but I went home to told my husband what she had to say. He asked me if that was what I wanted. I told him in no uncertain terms that it was not. That I valued our marriage and wouldn’t want to ruin what we had despite the issues we were having with sex. But, the more I thought about it, the more it intrigued me. I was desperate to be touched and have sex again. But, when I discussed with my husband, he was adamant that if I was to go through with that, he was unsure if we could stay together.

So, I decided for the first time in my life to purchase a vibrator. Let me tell you about my husband’s reaction – he was shocked and hurt. He couldn’t believe that I wanted to replace him with a toy.  I reminded him that a toy could never replace his touch. But he didn’t like it anyhow. Eventually, I told him I needed to find a partner. I could not go on living the way I was and came to a compromise of who I would play with. I told him that after speaking to another member of a website I joined, he suggested that I only play with married men and he is allowed to read all the correspondence between me and any man that I message regarding play dates. Reluctantly, he allowed me to go forward.

In November of 2015, I joined a swingers website. I began chatting with people and posted pictures of myself. Some were nude and some had me clothed. The nude pictures were scary to post. I had never done that before. But with the reaction I received from people who saw them, I was overwhelmed and a little surprised by how much positive feedback I was getting. It felt amazing to be told I had a beautiful body. I had never really heard those words from my husband. Yes, he told me on occasion how much he found me attractive but he found me beautiful even when I was 40 lbs heavier. So, it wasn’t really the same. Being told by men that didn’t know me that I was sexy and hot was really new for me. What a rush that was.  I loved being on this website and it became almost an addiction. I wanted the admiration of others.

Eventually, I started chatting and meeting men. Despite my husband’s approval, I was uncomfortable with allowing him to know what I was discussing and who I was planning on meeting. It felt like a betrayal but at the same time, it was very exciting. I felt like I was a silly teenager who was boy crazy and hungry for affection.

Then by mid-December, I agreed to meet with a man. He was single and 36 years old. I had already broke one of my promises.

Let the Story Begin

Finally, he put on his condom and entered me. OMG, what a feeling. I had needed that so badly. I was desperate for some relief and an orgasm of my own. It had been 20 years since I experienced an orgasm and I was looking forward to it.

December 2015

When I was contacted by Steve, he sounded like a wonderful man. He owned and ran his own business and seemed put together. We texted back and forth for a week before deciding to meet.

I had seen pictures of his body but never of his face. So, I had no idea who I was meeting. Finally, on the appointed day, I went outside to meet him for the first time and there he was. This young guy with a beautiful smile and receding hair line. You could not imagine my disappointment. I tried not to show it and smiled as brightly as he was, but I have to admit, he was not the looker I was hoping for. You see, I like guys who are well built, tall and a nice head of hair. Steve was tall, thin and not nearly enough hair.

So, we went for a walk and I decided to ask him a few questions. I figured I had nothing to lose. This was the first man that I had this type of relationship with and was unsure of how to go about it. So, I was winging it. Luckily, I’ve never shied away from talking about sex. It’s always been a fairly comfortable area for me to deal with. So, I decided to ask Steve a few questions about what it was he was seeking sexually. He said he just wanted sex with a woman who would not be using him for his money like most girls in his town. He seems to think he was a much sought after bachelor whom all the girls wanted to marry. Furthermore, he was in a 2 year relationship and the girl wanted to get married but he didn’t, so they broke up. That was a year ago. That sounded fair enough to me. I was too was looking for sex and didn’t need the complications of falling in love with anyone.

After chatting with him for an hour, and despite the fact that he did not look like the type of guy I would normally go for, I decided that I would give him a chance and see how things go.

A week later, right before Christmas, we made plans to meet up. But because neither of us could have sex in our homes, we decided that we would meet and have sex in his truck. I thought that would be ok. It had been over 30 years since I did that and thought the experience would remind me of my youth.

When I saw his truck, I got in, we chatted for a few minutes then got into the back seat. Now, you have to remember, I have been with my husband at this point for 23 years and before that, I had been married to the same man for 6 years, so, in a span of 30 years almost, I had been with 2 men. And at this point, I was so horny and so in need of sex, I was crawling out of my skin. I could not wait to get screwed by Steve.

When I undressed, I saw him looking at me. He was fully erect through his jeans and I could see that he was clearly turned on by me.  Naturally, I wore a new panty/bra set that I had bought especially for the occasion. I was looking forward to showing it off and have a man desire me. Well, I got my wish. I could see that I had the right effect on him that I was aiming for.

Once he removed his pants and I saw his cock, I was so turned on, that I could feel myself breathing harder and faster. I touched him, and started to beat him off. I then asked if I could suck him off. He told me that he was worried that if I did that, he would cum too quickly. Well, I don’t know about you, but most guys enjoy a good blow job and I wanted to do that for him. So, I proceeded to show him what I had. I enjoyed it too. I like giving blow jobs to guys who are clean and have a nice cock. But after about 3 minutes, he asked me to stop. I was surprised. I was enjoying it and wanted to continue. But, I thought maybe it was because he wasn’t enjoying that he asked me to stop.

Finally, he put on his condom and entered me. OMG, what a feeling. I had needed that so badly. I was desperate for some relief and an orgasm of my own. It had been 20 years since I experienced an orgasm and I was looking forward to it.

Steve started to thrust in and out, then after about a minute, he stopped. He looked at me and said “Sorry”. I was a little surprised by that. I asked him why he was sorry. He told me he came already. “Already!” was all I could say. You can imagine my disappointment of not having had the release I so desired and so needed. But, I laughed it off because I didn’t want him to be embarrassed or feel bad about it. I let him off the hook. Right after that, he wanted to get dressed and leave. I thought it was because he was embarrassed so I tried to make him feel better about it. But he made some excuse about needing to go to his parents’ place.

So, I dressed and left. I walked back to the car and I felt like I was doing the walk of shame. It was not a good feeling. I didn’t like how I felt at all. But, I needed to get home to my family so I got in my car and drove home.

Later that evening, I contacted Steve and told him how I felt. I told him I didn’t like the way he summarily dismissed me from the truck as soon as he had finished with me. He apologized and said that he didn’t intend for me to feel that way. He just had to leave. So, I forgave him and moved forward.

Christmas came and went and Steve and I had been in touch quite a bit over that time. I was getting very attached to him. He was sweet and charming and very soft spoken. He told me how beautiful I was and how much he loved my body. Once in a while, we would Skype while I was having a bath. We would chat and play while watching each other. It was fun and I was getting the attention that I was craving. He was fulfilling my sexual needs for the time being and I was enamoured with him.