It’s a New Day

 

So, it finally happened. My husband moved out of the house yesterday and that means today I start my new life as a single woman.

In hindsight, calling my blog “Swinging to Keep my Marriage” wasn’t well thought out. Although, the purpose of us having an open marriage was so that I could be fulfilled sexually while continuing to stay married. My husband wasn’t interested in sex and that was a huge issue in our marriage. So, when he agreed to allow me to have sex with other men, I thought it would help keep us together. What I didn’t expect was that I would eventually recognize that there were a lot of other issues that were wrong with our marriage.

Every marriage has it’s problems, that much is true. But when finances and sex are an issue, that can be a real deal breaker. Ultimately, that’s what happened with us. I was tired of being broke and tired of having to seek out sexual favours from other men because he didn’t want to satisfy me. This really came to a head in the winter when I had to leave my current partner’s home in the middle of the night so that I could be home before our son realized I was out all night. I just felt miserable and cold getting into the car at 2 am in the middle of a snowstorm. I decided at that point that I no longer wanted to live this way. I needed more in my life than what I was getting.

Coming to the realization after 25 years that I no longer wanted to be with my husband was in some ways easy, but at the same time very hard. Although it was my decision, I have been finding the whole transition difficult. The idea of living on my own for the first time in my life is scary. I left my parents home at the age of 21 and got married. When that marriage broke up, I moved back home. Then, while working a the local college, I met my husband and we moved in together within 6 months. That was 25 years ago. Most of our marriage was pretty great. There were ups and downs like everything else in life but it was good. The best part of course was our son. He brings so much joy to us. He was truly the reason why we stayed together as long as we did. But, he is 22 now and our raising him to be a productive, thoughtful human being, has come to an end. No, parenting never ends, but he doesn’t need us the same way anymore. And now that he  moved out of the house last month, that has become more and more apparent.  This also means am truly alone in the house.

Now, I need to take my fear of being alone and turn it into something that is positive. Knowing that I will be able to have my partner in my bed along with the other guys that I enjoy playing with in my home, might be a great start.

Despite my marriage breaking up, I feel that my sexuality has been a great aspect in my life. I love sex and I love to pleasure others. So, if my marriage ending in part because of that, well I guess I have to accept it. After all, sex is a huge part of my life and should have always been. Going without sex for almost 12 years is now unthinkable. I will never again allow that to happen to me.

Now it’s time to let the adventures begin. Stay tuned to see what doors will open for me. Now that I have my home to myself, my partner Gary at my side, there’s a number of crazy, awesome sexual prospect on the horizon.

Bi-play

Last Saturday night we met someone new. A bisexual male. I’ve been looking for a bisexual male to play with for a few months now because I wanted my partner Gary to experience the same sexual excitement that I have when playing with 2 men. Up until now, the other men have all been straight.

Gary is bi and since we’ve been together for the past 8 months, he has not had bi-play experience with me. Yes, he has gone on his own with a couple he played with in the past, but never with me. So, for me it was something new that I wanted to be a part of with him. I myself am not bi. Although, I have had encounters with 2 women but it was never because it was something I was seeking. It was more simply because the play was organic and this was all in part of the pleasure. It was not a turn-on but it was not a turn-off either. The first encounter was with a woman who I liked very much personality-wise but didn’t find her body appealing to me. The second time was with a tall, athletic beautiful blond and her boyfriend. They were both in their 20s. She was super hot and like I said, I’m not into women. But when she went down on me, it was wonderful. You forget yourself and just go with the sensation and how good it feels. So, I wanted to give her the pleasure she gave me. She loved it and so did her boyfriend. As I was eating her, he was taking me from behind. 🙂  It was a win-win for all of us.

Now back to my Saturday night last week.

It all started off with us meeting a man we met on the site. We had drinks and talked for over an hour. It turns out we had a lot in common as far as our career paths took us. So, it was an enjoyable evening. When he got up to go to the bathroom, Gary turned to me and asked if I was interested in playing with him. I said I would be. Then when our new friend returned to the table, I got up to go to the bathroom, wearing my tightest and sexiest dress, and when Dave, our new friend saw my full body, he gasped and grinned. He liked was he was seeing. As expected, he and Gary talked about the 3 of us playing together that night. Everyone was in agreement that we should have fun together.

Once I returned from the bathroom, we headed off to Dave’s place which was within walking distance. He admitted to us that he had a hard-on the whole time we were sitting there chatting. My dress was a bit low cut but still acceptable to be in public. Clearly his imagination was working well and when he saw my skin-tight dress running along my curves, to him, that’s what sold it. Not to mention the nudes he saw of me on the site. 😉  I don’t mean to sound like I’m god’s gift to men or anything, but men seem to be very attracted to my body. I have an hour glass figure and wear a size 10. So, I’m not heavy but not skinny. Just enough meat to hang on to when riding from behind but a great view from the front. I love my body and I take care of it. I guess it shows.

Playing at Dave’s place was fun. While he was fucking me, Gary was down eating me and licking Dave. Or when I would suck Dave, my partner Gary would come and share Dave’s cock with me. It was something I had never encountered before so I wasn’t sure how I would feel about it. It turns out that it wasn’t a turn-on nor a turn-off. I was seeing it as pleasure. Pleasure for me, pleasure for Gary and pleasure for our new friend Dave. It was a 2 hour romp and when we finally ended it all, I was thoroughly exhausted and could not orgasm anymore if I wanted to.

That was last Saturday. Now, tonight will be a different play date all together. We are heading off to our swingers pool party that we enjoy.

Hopefully I’ll have a great story to tell you the next time.

Until then, stay sexy and stay safe.

xx

 

 

Priorities

I guess with so many changes happening in my life and nobody to talk to about them, this will have to be my outlet. It’s not that I don’t have friends, it’s just that I am someone who is an open book with the right person in my life. Up until now, that’s been my husband. I am very open with Gary but he has very little time to sit and chat and  let’s face it, sometimes what I need to do is to complain about is him!

As I mentioned in the past, Gary is an artist and does renovations on the side. He also works full-time at a desk at the moment. So, he has a full schedule. Once he gets home from his 9-5 job, he changes and heads out to do renovations. He needs the extra cash to pay off some debt he accumulated when he was being frivolous with his money and from when he was injured and couldn’t work.

When he’s not working his day job or doing renovations, he loves to focus on his art. I love the fact that he is an artist. He’s a very good one too. I’ve posted some of his paintings here on my blog. But more and more I find he is finding less and less time to spend with me. I know he has bills to pay and I know he has art to create so he can show and sell pieces. But, will there be a time that he puts me as a priority? I wonder.

The reason I ask myself this question is that he has been promising me for weeks now that he will be spending the whole long weekend with me at my house. My son is moving out and my husband is going to visit his sister. So, great, I finally get to spend a weekend at home, something I haven’t had the chance to do in 6 months or so. But, now he has to prepare for his sculpting exhibit coming up in October and because he hasn’t been home in the evenings to work on his sculptures, he has decided that next weekend is when he will be doing it. Understandable because he needs to provide the art show with pictures of his finished art work. So, again, I am left in 2nd place on his priority list. I suggested today that he bring his sculpture here to work on so we can spend time at my place but I seriously doubt he will even view that as an option.

We are also supposed to go to a swing party next Saturday but I will tell him that we can cancel it. I’m sure he will be relieved. We can always go the following weekend. The theme is Back to School so I will get to wear my sexy school girl uniform. I’ll tell you how it goes if we end up going. It’s usually a good time.

I will try to keep the drama and anxiety to a minimum and get back to focusing on my swinging experiences for now on. I just sometimes need to vent and put my thoughts on paper to remove some of the clutter going on in my mind. Perhaps I’m just expecting too much from a new relationship. In my humble opinion, I always thought that relationships take work and both partners need to be present. That requires being together whenever possible. I guess I’m not use to this lifestyle. My husband doesn’t have hobbies or work long hours so he is always home. I suppose I like that about our relationship. I like having the people I love to be around. When they aren’t around, I get lonely and start to think the worst.  All the arguments and discussions we have come back to haunt me. Like him talking about his former girlfriend again. I’m not sure why he needs to keep bringing her up. I suggested today that he should go back to her because he brings her up daily in one way or another so he must miss her. It’s irritating especially knowing she didn’t treat him very well. Maybe I need to do the same so that he pays more attention to me. I feel sometimes that he doesn’t have room for me in his life and if I hadn’t gotten him a job with me, I would rarely see him.

 

The Second Half of our Lives

This blog is a bit different than most of them. I guess I need to rant and let out some frustration here because I have nobody I can turn to. So, bare with me please.

A couple of weeks ago, Gary and I talked about moving in together. I was quite exciting when he asked and thought I was the luckiest woman in the world. Neither of us are in a real hurry,  and both agreed that it was our ultimate goal.  I decided I wanted to wait until at least next summer so I could experience life on my own. I have never lived by myself and decided that I need to have a bit of time alone after my son moves out this September and my husband leaves in October. Gary is in full agreement because he neither is prepared for such a big step albeit one we wish to aim for.

But now I wonder if it’s really the best decision for me. Here’s my story:

The weekend started like any other weekend. Gary and I went back to his place on Friday after work before he went off to his second job for the day as a renovator. He left at around 4pm to go and I stayed at his place as always. I cleaned the bedroom, vacuumed the main floor and washed the dishes. After living alone for as long as he has, he has gotten into the habit of not picking up after himself. The fact that he works all day and goes to work most evenings doesn’t help the matter. He never has time to clean, so when I go there, I tend do it. I think it’s just as much for my sanity, because I’m use to a clean home, as much as it is to help him. Besides, what else am I going to do sitting around the house waiting for him to return from work.

Finally, at around 7:30 pm he arrived home. He showered and we sat around chatting a bit. We hadn’t had supper yet and I was getting hungry.  I’m a bit of a slave to my stomach. I get cranky when I get too hungry – kind of a Joe Pesci thing, if you know the commercial. But because Gary was out working, I waited. He’s the cook in this couple and a very good cook at that. Plus it’s his kitchen and knows where everything is. So, I don’t mind waiting for him for us to eat.  Then when I mentioned I was getting hungry I asked when he was going to start supper. That was the first moment that he snapped at me. I took it in stride because I knew he was tired and had a long day. So, I told him that for now on, when he works evenings, I will make dinner and he can eat when he gets home. Disagreement solved.

We ate our dinner and watched a bit of tv. We crawled into bed around 11pm and had a great time between the sheets. That’s an area where we are very compatible. We know how to please each other and we know what the other likes.

Saturday morning, we got busy doing work around the house that needed to be done. It was rather uneventful. We were planning on going to a swingers pool party but the weather wasn’t agreeing with our plans so we cancelled. We decided that maybe we would go to the swingers club for couples night instead. As the afternoon wore on, Gary decided to show me pictures of Mexico where he lived for 2 months with a woman he dated for 3 years. I was ok with looking at the pictures for a short time, but it went on for over an hour and how he and her did this and that. There were numerous pictures of her in various poses around the city and half nude on their patio. I didn’t care that much at first, but it just went on for too long. I finally told him I wanted to stop looking at them because my neck was getting sore.  Granted, the pictures were beautiful but simply far too many. Well, he got a bit annoyed at me about that too. It seemed like I couldn’t win, no matter what I said.  I noticed he took a hit of pot, which I really dislike him doing that around me. I find his personality changes even if he refuses to believe me. So, I ignore it. But when I explained later when we went for a walk that I don’t want to be constantly reminded about his life with his ex-girlfriend, he seemed to understand…to a point. He seemed to think that because living in Mexico was part of his life for 2 months and he really wanted to show me, that I should be ok with it. But I reminded him that I travelled extensively throughout North America and Europe with my husband and son over the past 25 years, but do not share it all with him because it’s my past and he is my present.

Later that evening, I went for a bath.  Gary renovated his bathroom to suit his late wife. She wanted a deep tub with jets so she could soak and relax. It sounds luxurious but  the top of the top goes over my shoulders when I’m sitting down in it. I’m only 5’4″ so having a tub that big makes getting in and out of it pretty difficult.  Just picking myself up out of the tub is a job in itself. In order to get out, I need to use all my arm strength. But with a very sore shoulder, that’s not easy to do. When I finally crawled out, I made the mistake of telling him it was difficult getting out of the tub because it’s so deep. Again, he let out a big sigh. I had once again managed to annoy him. Funny enough, I’m not a complainer nor do I whine about stuff just for the sake of whining. He seemed to think that I wanted him to change the bathtub and undo all the work he did. Obviously I didn’t want that at all. After all, he made it for his wife and not only did he do an amazing job, but it’s sentimental to him and his son, I’m sure. He surrounded the bath tub with beautiful stone work and hand carved celtic stone.

When I expressed my concern with him being annoyed with me once again, he told me he wasn’t annoyed but was trying to come up with a solution. His solution was to build me my own spa bathroom if I decide to move in with him next year. A bathroom built to my specifications. That all sounds amazing, but it doesn’t take away the hurt I felt by his reaction.

We eventually went to bed, not angry but not as playful as we usually are. I felt sad that our evening had been riddled with tension.

Sunday morning finally rolled around and again, he snapped at something else. I finally had enough and went into the house to think. I needed to decide if this was how I was going to live out my next 25 years. Do I want to be with a man who has a short fuse with me, loves to tease me in a hurtful ways or is simply annoyed by me and my ways?  I’m not use to being spoken to the way he talks to me. My husband doesn’t speak to me that way and I wouldn’t accept it from anyone else. Maybe I am flawed and possibly one of those flaws are me being too sensitive. If that’s the case, he will have to learn to adjust his ways and I will have to toughen up.

But at the same time, I know he loves me. We’ve been “together” for 8 months now and I feel it very day in the little gestures he does. He’s kind, considerate and makes me laugh. Not to mention the intimate connection we share together. That’s a strong pull. Plus he is willing to renovate a small portion of his home for me if that’s what I want. And since he met me, he has decided to finally fix up his backyard and his front yard so we can enjoy it together. But, do I really want to live in his and her home. The home he shared with his wife for 25 years before she passed away? I’m not sure I want to. It doesn’t feel like home to me. It doesn’t feel like I belong there. Not only that, I don’t feel comfortable asking him to make changes for me.  He loves his home and he has good memories there, which is wonderful but it’s just not my place. No more than my home is his style or in his comfort zone. What I really think we should do is to buy a home that represents the two of us and the life we want to share together. Something that allows us equal input into the decor and changes that will be needed. But I don’t think he can hear me. I think he will continue on doing his renovations with the hope that I will change my mind and be ok with moving in.

But the way I look at it, what I need to do is to decide if I want to be with him. I don’t enjoy having my flaws pointed out to me for the benefit of his enjoyment. I know I’m less than perfect, but he is too. I just don’t have the need to keep reminding him the way he loves to tease me and remind me. It’s hurtful and I want it to stop. I told him before leaving today and we will see if he has heard me.

Things need to change between us. I love him and I know he loves me. We are 2 very different people with a lot in common but we have a lot to learn about each other. Let’s hope that we we both learn keeps us on the ultimate path we both want – to be together for the second half of our lives.

Top 10!

Wednesday evening we were supposed to meet with one of my young play partners. Nick, a 25 year old swinger asked to meet with me and my partner to play. Gary lives alone so having people over during the week is never a problem. I packed my stuff and planned to stay the night.

As the evening started, he made us a couple of pina colada’s to drink. They were delicious and gave me that extra sense of relaxation that I enjoy having before playing. But as the evening moved on, it became more apparent that Nick wasn’t going to show up. That was fine by me. I was disappointed, but knowing that I was about to play, and knowing that my lover was an amazing lover, I didn’t mind at all.

By 8pm, we finished our drinks and moved into the bedroom. Our play sessions started like any other one, with Gary and I kissing and touching. The foreplay is always sensual and sexy. Kissing, oral play and touch heightens the sense of need and urgency. But when that urgency turned more to need, he put his fingers between my legs and proceeded to gently massage my pussy. He moved quicker and quicker then before I knew it, I was squirting all over his hands, chest, arms and it even managed to splash my face. It was incredible and I was wet! My stomach became just as slippery as my pussy. I was laughing and moaning and squirming all at once. It was erotic and fun, not to mention how amazing it felt. Wow!  And that was just the start.

 

 

 

 

The May 2-4 Weekend

So, here in Canada, we celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday on May 24th of each year. But, luck would have it, the powers at be have decided that we make a long weekend of it and celebrate it by taking the first Monday closest to that date. So, this year, we have May 22nd off in lieu of. And you know what that means! More time to play!!!

I’m starting my long weekend off by leaving work today (Friday) at noon. I’ll be coming home to do groceries with my husband, go for a pedicure and getting my clothes and cooler together to head to Gary’s for the weekend. You ask why am I bringing a cooler to Gary’s? Well, tomorrow we are heading to a Swinging Pool Party!  This will be the first of many I suspect for this summer.

The plan is to go at around 3pm, in order to catch a bit of sun so I can get some colour. I’m a little on the pale side at the moment after a long cold winter and a very long and cold spring. We will no doubt play in the pool, lay on the grass and give each other massages and play together a little.  Then in the early evening, we are hoping to go downstairs and use the Sybian. I want to try it out to see what it’s like. I’ve never used one before and it looks super exciting. For those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s basically like a mechanical bull but with a dildo on the end of it. 🙂

When we go to these pool parties, everyone is asked to bring food to share with others. So, going early like that doesn’t mean we have to leave to go home and have dinner. The joy of it all, is we can stay to swim in the afternoon, play a little, eat and play then swim so more. This makes for a great day of fucking with various partners if that’s what you like. Who knows what I will do. The last time and only time I went in the summer for this pool party was with my husband because I really wanted to experience what it was like. We only stayed a few hours and didn’t play at all. My husband agreed to accompany me as long as I didn’t go off and play with someone. I promised him I wouldn’t. I certainly had the opportunity though. I had 2 guys on me the moment I stepped out in my bikini. But, I was adamant about not hurting my husband’s feelings by betraying my promise. So, I hung out in the pool and chatted with the guys instead. It was fun and made me excited to go back. I didn’t return until fall after the pool was closed. This summer promises to be different.

So, the next time you hear from me will be about my weekend. I will tell you all about the pool party and how it went. Hopefully it will be as exciting as I imagine it will be. This is Gary’s first time going so I hope it’s not a disappointment for him. Regardless, as long as he and I are together, we will make our own fun. We have great chemistry in bed together and we never leave each other wanting more.

xxoo

 

Three Men and a Lady – My First Foursome

I’ve been asked by a couple of readers to expand on my foursome experience from a few weeks ago. So, here it is.

A few weeks ago, we went to a swing party at a home ​an hour outside of town. ​ ​I had been there on my own in the past but this was the first time for Gary to go. He’d never been to a swing party at a home with this many people. ​There were about 40 couples and a ​few​ single guys ​on this particular night​.​ We were celebrating Easter so all the women were wearing their best Playboy Bunny outfits. A few men were dressed as Hugh Heffner so that was a lot of fun. I received several compliments on my costume. From what I was told, when I walked by, not only were the men watching me, but so were several women. My curves and long blond hair attract a lot of attention.

Gary and I were probably the first to go downstairs to have fun in the play area. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This was his first time there and he was excited to play. One by one, other couples came downstairs to join us in​ the play area as well. There was enough room around us that we had plenty​ of space​ to enjoy ourselves. After a while, Mike, a guy I had met before but never played with, came down to watch the action. At that point, Gary had asked me if I wanted to have someone join us. I thought to myself, why no​t, ​I know how much fun it can be. So, I invited Mike over. Wow, I was glad I did. Not only was he well endowed, but he has a great body. The whole package really. So, the three of us played ​blissfully​ together ​while​ the play area got more and more busy. Eventually, a couple​​ l​aid​ next to us. ​The room was getting crowded and there were about 6 other couples playing. ​At one point, the woman invited her husband to join her and her play partner. But, instead, he​ sat down behind Gary and​ started to touch me. First, he touched my legs, leading up to my pussy. His hands were soft and tender. Gary was on top of me, and I was sucking Mike. I guess at one point my eyes opened wide and Gary realized that there was someone behind him. He whispered to me asking me if I wanted to have this other man leave. I told him no, it was ​not necessary​.​ Normally, an individual would not join uninvited to play with people like that but I felt safe at that moment and didn’t mind. ​Within time, this man moved up closer, and started to caress my breasts while Gary was still fucking me and I was sucking Mike. It was so hot, having these 3 men playing with me,​ and knowing​ others around were watching​ us, it was a real turn-on​. I was on top of the world. I have never had that much stimulation at once from so many men. First I would suck Mike, then turned towards the other man. Gary moved over so Mike would have a chance to fuck me while I sucked him and this other guy. Spectacular! This lasted almost 2 hours. The touching, caressing, sucking and fucking was so overwhelming. I was panting hard, orgasming like crazy and simply totally spent when we were done. I had just experienced my first MMMF.  I could not have continued playing any more that I had at that point, or so I thought​. ​We​ slowly​ got dressed and went upstairs for a drink.
Within an hour, we decided to go back downstairs because Gary was going to put me on the table to give me a massage.

​While h​e massaged me​, ​I lay quietly watching a couple play together. This​ was a couple I had played with in the past, so watching them was pleasant. I knew they were married and found it really pleasing to see them still enjoy each other as much as they did.
While Gary was massaging me, a woman ​approached us and I asked if she wanted to join in. ​ She was happy to oblige. ​Once the massage was over though, ​I asked if she would be interested in playing with us. Well, Gary ha​d​ never played with 2 women before and I had never had a partner play with me and another woman so I was nervous about how I would feel about it. ​I was worried that I would be jealous and really hate the experience. So, from the massage table​, we went to the matt where we were going to play. Immediately, Gary started to do oral on this woman. And because I’m not bi, I started to massage his back and just touch him​ wherever​. But after a few minutes, I realized that ​there was no room in this trio for me​. Seeing that’s not my style, I looked over and saw the couple that I knew still playing. At that point, the husband saw me and invited me over. So, I took advantage of the invite and went over to play with him while Gary was busy with this other woman. Gary is a very visual person. He is also someone who rarely orgasms. He has only orgasmed 2 or 3 times in the past 4 months we’ve been together. Not because he’s not stimulated but because he has trained himself to not orgasm until his partner has been totally satisfied. But then, sometimes he goes beyond the point of being able to and it simply doesn’t happen. That’s what happened that night during the foursome. He simply could not orgasm. But, once he saw me sucking my friend’s cock, while he was fucking this ​new ​woman​ that​ he did not know, well, he ​exploded.​.. he came so quickly after entering her that he felt like it was his first time having sex. He simply couldn’t help himself. He was excited about the evening, he was excited watching me give oral to another man and he was excited that I invited a woman to play with him. It was the perfect storm. He blew his load after being in this woman for about 5 minutes. Something he had never done before. It was incredible. I was so relieved that I didn’t have that sense of jealousy. How could I? He has allowed me to have as many men as I want, when I want. I could not deny him that as well.​ I was happy to do it for him and will do it again. but the next time, he knows what he needs to do in order to make it a threesome. ​

Sex is pleasure. It doesn’t have to be about jealousy and getting emotions all tangled up. Yes, it can lead to that if you play with the person often, get to know them on a personal basis, such as Gary and I have, but if it’s a one-time thing or the occasional tryst, then it can be managed. I’m just glad I ​gave him that experience​. It made him so happy that I was able to do that for him. It was worth it​ and I will do it again.​

 

 

Sensual Touch

Another weekend, another great sensual and sexy experience! Yes, I was lucky enough to spend the weekend with my wonderful artist Gary. He is the most sensual, exhilarating man that I know.

Our Friday evening started like any other Friday evening. A little bit of chatting, a glass of wine then kissing.​ We love to kiss and I’m so happy about that. I married a man who rarely enjoyed kissing so it’s been a beautiful re-discovery. Eventually​ we moved to the bedroom, ​and ​as usual, that’s when the magic happened. We started with a full body massage.  He works with large stones when he carves and it can take a toll on his body. So, for a treat, I la​y​ him down on his stomach, ​poured ​oil all over h​is back​ and started to​ give him a​ massage. ​Hearing the moans and groans, I knew he was enjoying it. With that inspiration, I got the idea to pour oil on my breasts, and proceeded to rub my whole front side up and down his back. ​By his reaction, ​​I could tell that he was enjoying himself immensely. This lasted for a short moment, until he turned around and looked at me. He had a look I have never seen from him before. His face had an expression of tranquility and desire. It was so beautiful to see. I had managed to make him feel just as I had felt on the evening he took such good care of me with a massage back in February. ​On that particular night, we were to go to a Valentine’s swing party but I simply was feeling too sad and vulnerable. ​I was not in the frame of mind to play with anyone. So, instead, ​that evening, he made me feel loved and desired. A feeling I had not felt in a long time.

Once he turned around and looked at me, we kissed and embraced. But then, that’s where the real action started. I wanted him to feel pampered and spoiled. The best way I know how to do that is to be on top and do the work. I love being on top. I love how he enjoys it so much and calls out my name. I love how he holds my breast while I move back and forth and the way he looks into my eyes with such love and adoration.  Being on top gives me the opportunity to ultimately please him while also being pleasured. It’s simply awesome.

This was probably one of the most sensual and romantic love making sessions I have ever experienced. I know we will never be able to repeat that very experience, but I look forward to many more in the months and hopefully the years to come.

I have been lucky to have a man such as Gary in my life. Yes, we met because he wanted to photograph me with the purpose of painting and sculpting my body, but his soul is what spoke to me when we met. I fell in love with him the first time I posed nude.

​Although h​e​ continuously​ tells me that he is the lucky on​e and that he​ has hit the jackpot by meeting me. Not only does he find me very beautiful, but because I am also very sexual, that has been a huge part of our relationship. We both revel in each others bodies and truly love sex. We have had male partners join us in our fun because Gary loves to watch me have sex. He finds me at my most beautiful when I am excited and turned on. He loves to watch a man please me and bring me to climax. When we play as a threesome, Gary will watch, take a few photos then join in on the fun. This whole process is a huge turn-on for him and I love it too. What’s not to love eh. I get to be with my lover and have the pleasure of choosing another man to join us.

I have gone from zero to 100 on the sex scale of joy in a short year and a half since I’ve started in this lifestyle.

 

 

Sex on the Brain

I’ve been spending a lot of my weekends with Gary lately. I went yesterday afternoon to spend time with him because he had an art show and I wanted to be there to support him. He’s a wonderfully talented artist. But I noticed during our conversations that a lot of what we have in common is sex. Our conversations tend to revolve around sex all the time. Now that I’ve started to notice it and it really has me questioning how much we have in common. Don’t get me wrong, sex is a great subject but does every conversation have to end up as a sexual innuendo or a discussion of what he wants to do sexually with me the next time?  He loves the fact that I am very sexual but it also stresses me out in the sense that if I ever decide I need to step away from playing so much, how will he feel? He loves that I love to play in threesomes, but I think that eventually, I will want to just be with a single partner in a loving relationship.  I don’t know if I will want to stay in this lifestyle, at least not to the point I am playing now. ​ Gary is a great lover and satisfies me completely. I do enjoy others but nobody can do it the way he does for me. Not even Matt and I’ve been with Matt for over a year.  These sex conversations are something that have been on my mind a lot today. I mentioned it briefly to him but I’m not convinced that will change anything.  I do love being with him, but do I want to spend the rest of my life with him? I have yet to know the answer to that.

You see,  Gary really thinks he won the lottery by being with me. In a lot of ways, I feel the same but I have a sense of emptiness sometimes.   I want to feel whole and joyful but I don’t.  Perhaps it’s because I am uneasy with my son knowing that I play with other men and that I was out last night at a man’s place. He doesn’t know who’s place but he knows I was out.  Perhaps if my son didn’t know, maybe I would feel fine today. I don’t know. Maybe I feel dirty and I don’t like this feeling. When my son didn’t know about what I was doing, I didn’t have this issue so much, but now that he does, hiding it is much harder.

There’s also the fact that Gary told me that he would be going to Toronto with a female friend (V) of his that he played with before. She likes to go to a swing club out there and always asks that he take her because she doesn’t like to go alone. It kind of annoys me that I will miss out on a Saturday night with him because of her. The worst part is, I know she wants to be more to him than a friend but he doesn’t see it. I remind him that every time he does something like this with her, it sends her the wrong signals. She probably thinks that he will eventually leave me and go with her. He tells me he’s not interested in her. She’s a big woman and although that doesn’t bother him, I still think he likes the fact that she wants him and it makes me crazy.  I’ve never had to share any of my partners with other women. They always only had me as a partner. Now, with Gary, he has his V and a couple that he plays with. I don’t mind the couple, but him playing with V who is a single woman that make me crazy, I simply want to scream!

I DID IT!

 

Well, I finally did it. Two major life events happened to me this past weekend; one great and the other, not so great.

First the great one!

My partner and I went to a swing party at a private home this past Saturday night. The theme for the evening was Playboy Bunny in honour of Easter being next weekend.  There were sexy bunnies all over the house and one Hugh Hefner. It was great!  But the best part of it all was that I had my first MMMF and it wasn’t even intentional. lol

I was playing with my partner Gary on the mattress having our own fun, then we decided to invite Mike to play, a guy that I’ve known since last summer but never played with.  We played the three of us together for 30 minutes. Gary, being very visual,  said I was watched non-stop by others who were standing around. While riding Mike at one point, there were no less than 10 people watching. It was a thrill.  Then, while the three of us were playing, a guy who’s wife was playing beside us came over and started touching me. Gary asked me if I wanted him to stop but I said no, I was fine with it. It’s unusual for someone to touch without asking first but in this case, I didn’t mind too much. I saw who it was and knew that his wife was beside me so I felt safe knowing he wasn’t going to do anything too weird.  It was all pretty incredible. I have never had 3 pairs of hands touching and caressing me at once while I had a penis in my mouth, and one in my pussy. Wow, is all I can say about that.

Even while wearing my bunny outfit, Gary would walk behind me and watch all the men and women turn their heads and follow my every move. hehehe  I guess I looked kinda cute and sexy. It was incredible.

The “not so great” part of the weekend was that I had to tell my husband that we are officially separating. You might be asking yourself – Is Swinging to blame for it? I don’t know. But what I do know is that now, I feel better about things, so let me tell you why.

For those of you that have been following my blog since the beginning, you know that I started into the Swinging Lifestyle because my husband hasn’t been able to have an erection since his stroke even with the little blue pill and therefore, sex no longer was a part of our lives. He eventually became able to but simply lost interest and no longer wanted to try.  It was hurtful.  I’m sure many of you out there are saying there is more than one way to have sex, and yes, I totally agree with you. But, my husband had no interest in giving me pleasure orally or with his fingers. As a matter of fact, he was insulted that after 10 years with no sex, I bought a vibrator. Can you imagine!  I needed affection, I needed to be touched and let’s face it, I needed sex. But he was unable and unwilling to give me any. So, after much thought and a visit to a psychologist, I decided to explore the swing world. I was terrified but I knew I needed something. I could no longer live without the touch of a man or the sensation of a penis inside of me. So, you tell me, was our break-up inevitable? I think so. Nobody can live like this forever. Even my mother, a former nun in the Catholic Church, told me recently that I needed to find a man and have sex with him, even if I am still married. She say’s men do it all the time so why shouldn’t I. She is very supportive of my separation and thinks it’s about time if this is what my life has been like. I never told her about his inability to have an erection until now. She obviously doesn’t know about my lifestyle but she understands that sex is important and clearly wants me to start living again.

So, after a few hiccups over a year ago, I found 2 amazing men and spent a year having sex with them and a few others on the occasion in between. Now, I am still with one of these men – Matt, and a new man, my artist Gary for the past 4 months along with a few others for good measure. Gary loves to watch me have sex with other men (being very visual) before joining in on the fun. I love it too. Threesomes are the best.  But as I mentioned in the past, I have fallen in love with him and now I want to explore where things can go relationship wise.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t leave my husband solely because of Gary, but I guess he was a part of it. You see, my husband is a chronically depressed person. He is negative and not always pleasant to be around. He also takes me for granted more than he should. Gary, despite losing his wife to diabetes five years ago, a woman he was married to for 25 years, he still find it easy to laugh and enjoy life to the fullest. It is so refreshing. I need that in my life.

But don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy and I am still struggling with the idea that my marriage is basically over.